Stock of nation's largest drugstore chain drops 25% in less than a day. But "market is up"

Walgreens is the nation's largest pharmacy chain, with over 8,500 stores and more than 300,000 employees.  

 

Its stock is down 24% just today, and has lost 80% of its value in less than 5 years.

 

But don't worry, citizens.  Dis don' mean nuffin'!  Duh whole stock market is BOOMING, jus' like duh economy!  Everyt'ing faaabulous!  Dey might make a small adjustment or two, but nothing that can't be fixed by closing a few stores and laying off a few employees, eh?

A minor adjustment--say, laying off ten percent of the employees--would only be...um...30,000 people.  An' in dis' BOOMING economy they'll all be able to find new jobs really soon!  I hear cities and counties are starting to hire lots of "election workers" and "ballot scanners."  Of course only Democrats are hired for those positions but most workers are Democrats so that won't be a problem, eh?

 

Someone noted that when you go into a Walgreens in a big Dem-ruled city all products are locked up behind plastic.  No one from the company is willing to talk about why, but surely that can't be hurting sales, right?

Wait, here we go: Walgreens say it plans to close up to 25% of stores nationwide.  Early word was that the planned closures were because the company anticipates weaker consumer spending for the remainder of 2024, but a company quickly said that wasn't the case, and that everyone agreed the economy was BOOMING under the brilliant policies of the Democrat party.

Let's see...what's 25% of 300,000 employees?  Eh, no matter.  They'll find new jobs in no time.  And cities can take over the closed stores and use 'em for needle-distribution centers.