A tale of two outrageously expensive, wokie Democrat bribes to their supporters

Before the mid-term elections last November, Democrats were looking for ways to bribe college students and recent grads to vote, since 90% of'em vote Democrat.

They hit on a way to bribe every student who'd taken out a studen loan.  It was cunningly, misleadingly described as loan "forgiveness," but like everything the Democrats do, that wasn't accurate.  The actual details were, your parents would repay the loans of other college students.

But don't worry, citizen.  It's not a huge amount.  A paltry $10,000 for white borrowers, $20,000 for "special protected classes."  So SETTLE DOWN, deplorables!

Wait...HOW many people have open loans?  Y'say tens of millions.  Ooohhh, dat may cost some serious change, eh?  In fact duh Congressional Budged Office estimated the naked bribe to win votes would cost taxpayers $400 BILLION.  

And young student borrowers be like, "SO?  Not my problem how much it cost, cuz I beez gettin' ten large (or 20 large if you belongs to duh protected class, eh?).

At that point your parents, along with everyone who either worked their way thru school without borrowing, or who repaid their student loans, OR who didn't go to college, should be screaming bloody murder!

I mean really, do you think it's fair to force some gal making $600 a week waiting tables at Olive Garden to repay ten grand of student loans for a kid from a wealthy family who majored in lesbian studies?  I mean, really...

Because of course loan "forgiveness" is a deliberate mislead: the *banks* don't just write off ("forgive") the loans.  Instead the $10,000 or $20,000 payments will be made by your parents.  

Whoa, y'say no one told ya about *that* li'l twist?  Yeah, I know.  Cunning, eh?  But hang on, cuz it gets worse:

See, since almost every dollar of the annual government deficit--the amount the gruberment has to borrow to cover what it greedily demands to spend to continue to bribe voters for campaign contributions--is borrowed from China, you yourself will be repaying the cost out of your future earnings.

Yeah, you didn't see that one coming either, eh?

But of course the biden regime doesn't care that the bribe is paid by you and your parents.  All they care about is that the bribe worked: exit polls showed huge majorities of college students and recent grads voted for Porridgebrain and Cackles in 2020.

Democrat pols would sell their mothers to sex traffickers without a second thought if it would win them control of the gruberment.  All that matters to 'em is power.  How they get it doesn't matter.

Of course a dozen conservatives states immediately said "This is pure bribery, and can't be allowed.  There is no Constitutional authority for this whatsoever!"  And they sued to prevent the bribe from proceeding.

A court of appeals agreed that the scheme was indeed unconstitutional, and ordered the regime not to proceed.  But since your parents' taxes pay the salaries of entire battalions of government lawyers, the biden regime always appeals.  (Nice work, eh?)  So the case is now being heard by the Supreme Court.  I'll keep you posted on the result.

But meanwhile, wokie politicians in San Francisco noticed how popular this sort of bribe was, and decided to try it themselves.  So they formed a..."panel," and asked that panel to recommend a dollar amount to pay former slaves for having been slaves.

Problem was, no one living today was ever a slave, and no San Francisco taxpayers ever owned slaves.  So the committee decided instead to pay "reparations" NOT for long-ended slavery, but for "policies" that disadvantaged blacks.  

The panel said the money would make up for “the public policies explicitly created to subjugate Black people in San Francisco by upholding and expanding the intent and legacy of chattel slavery.”  No one asked any questions, cuz dey din' wanna be accused of bein' raaaaacis.

The wokies agreed that any rationale the panel settled on was just fine, and said when you brilliant folks settle on a number we'll ORDER taxpayers to gibs dat much cash to anyone claiming to be black who was born in San Francisco.

Totally reasonable, eh?

So for the next two years the 15-member panel worked hard to calcuate the right number, meeting several times a year at posh resorts with five-star hotels.  See, since the figure was sure to be very large, the panel couldn't just pull a number out of its ass.  Instead dey had to work hard to find the right formula.

Dat required lots and lots of "maff."  And since duh wokies done assured us dat maff be raaaacist, it maybe took duh panel a li'l longer den some folk thought.  Cuz five-star hotels, eh?

But after months of laborious calculations the panel arrived at a number.  And astonishingly, all those careful calculations came out to be exactly $5 million--to be paid by city taxpayers to every black person born in San Francisco between 1940 and 1996 and who'd lived in the city for at least 13 years.

Of course many of the panelists thought those requirements were too tough, so they added another way to cash in: if a black person had been in prison at any time, or was a child of anyone who'd been imprisoned.

Ah, much bettah.

Also, the 1996 cutoff would mean that blacks under 27 wouldn't qualify--unless they'd been in prison.  Insiders say this was an oversight and will be changed in the final report to include every black person born up to the minute the ORDER is approved by the woke "Board of Supervisors."

But surprisingly, on closer "questioning," committee chair Eric McDonnell revealed that the $5 million cash payment did NOT result from a careful calculation.  Instead he told the totally woke Washington Post
  >>“There wasn’t a math formula.  Instead it was a journey for the committee towards what could represent a significant enough investment in families to put them on this path to economic well-being, growth and vitality that chattel slavery and all the policies that flowed from it destroyed.”

We put this explanation through our latest AI program and it responded, "WTF?"

After the Reparations Committee releases its final report in June, the city's Board of Supervisors will vote to approve the cash payment.

Meanwhile the biden regime has offered the members of the Reparations Committee a dozen high-level jobs in federal finance.  Jake Sullivan said "This is the kind of brilliant thinking we need more of.  Janet Yellen added, "The members of this committee will fit right in with our administration."

Source.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/san-franciscos-reparations-committee-really-is-just-making-it-up-as-it-goes-along