Tuesday, January 16

Record cold in Russia too? Wait, didn't a global-warming expert say the rest of the world...


MOSCOW –  Temperatures in the remote, diamond-rich Russian region of Yakutia have dropped to near-record lows, plunging to -67 degrees Centigrade (-88.6 degrees Fahrenheit) in some areas.
      In Yakutia — about 3,300 miles (5,311 kilometers) east of Moscow — where students routinely go to school in -40 degrees, school was cancelled throughout the region.
Wait, wait...this can't be true, citizen.  Simply un-possible.  Because when the record cold snap hit the U.S. east coast two weeks ago, and rational Americans were having great fun joking about how this was absolute proof that global-worming was real, some "expert" appeared on one of the news shows to explain that, "You knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing inbred deplorables don't understand the diff between local weather and "climate."  You aren't looking at the Big Picture!  See, it's cold *here*, but the entire rest of the world is experiencing record high temperatures. 

"So you are instructed to disregard the "news" above.  Could not have happened.  The report is fake news-- a ploy by the orange man to make you believe humans aren't causing the planet to warm by a fatal amount.  See, it's all Trump's fault!

"And to show that we enlightened Hollywood experts really believe what we're saying, we've all sold our private jets and will only fly commercial from now on!  Really!

"What, you don't believe us?  C'mon, citizen:  Have we evah lied to you before?"

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home