A millenial struggles to cope with the repeal of Net Neutrality

When the mainstream media announced that President Obama’s "net-neutrality" policy had been repealed I quietly shut down my computer, kissed my dog on the head, and with tears in my eyes, waited for the end.

Everyone I knew had said Net Neutrality was the only thing standing between us and the end of the world.  I’m not exactly sure what "net netrality" was supposed to do, but everyone on the Left--the people I've learned to believe, cuz they care so much about others--were wailing that repealing it would be a disaster.  Same for everyone I knew on Twitter.

The day of the vote the internet was on fire with scary warnings and calls for mass resistance.  My fellow internet warriors and I tried everything, tweeting out warnings, calling those who didn’t care about Net Neutrality “stupid” and “ignorant,” but it didn't work.

And now, in just minutes, the eeevil Rethuglican head of the FCC wiped it all out.  Now we are lost!

I’m not sure how much time passed.  Five minutes?  Ten?  Time slows when you’re waiting for the apocalypse to rain its Republican-driven fury upon you.

Of course the loss of net neutrality would mean no more food in the stores.  I thought I might be able to survive by ordering food from Amazon, but the media said that once Net Neutrality was repealed I wouldn’t be able to access websites like Amazon any more.  I don't want to suffer the disappointment of trying.

But I refuse to panic. I figure if necessary I can grow my own food.  I saw Matt Damon do it in The Martian using nothing but human waste.  I'll do the same.  And like Elizabeth Warren, I will persist.  We won't let those horrible Rethuglicans defeat us!

H/T https://www.redstate.com/brandon_morse/2017/12/14/life-post-net-neutrality-world/