Sunday, August 7

Overheard in a coffee shop

Conservative American: "Seems like recent immigrants--whether unvetted Muslims imported by Obama or illegals who walked across the border--seem to commit a lot of murders, stabbings and rapes.  Maybe we'd be safer if we did a better job of securing our borders."

Democrat: "AHA, we knew it!  You knuckle-draggers hate immigrants!

Conservative: "What?  Where did you get that idea?  Legal immigrants who aren't unvetted Muslims are great.  Virtually all of us had ancestors who were immigrants  We just said maybe Americans would be safer if we secured our borders."

Dem: "See??  Raaacists.  Xenophobic knuckle-draggers, all of you!  And by the way, we're about to make it illegal to use the word 'terrorism' and 'Muslim' in the same sentence."

Conservative: "What??  That violates free speech!  And I haven't heard about any bill like that being introduced."

Dem:  "Hee hee hee! You dumb rethuglicans!  What makes you think there needs to be a bill to make something illegal?

Conservative: "Uh, to be 'illegal' doesn't something have to violate some, uh, law?  And don't all laws start out as bills?"

Dem:  "Not at all, dummy.  The president has always had the authority to make laws simply by issuing an "executive memo."  Sometimes called an "executive order."  We started calling 'em 'memos' so there wouldn't be so many 'orders.' "

Conservative: "That's unconstitutional.  Constitution explicitly says "All laws shall be passed by Congress."  Not the president.

Dem: "Too late, dummy."

Conservative: "Whadya mean 'too late'?  That part of the Constitution hasn't been amended, so how can you say 'too late'? "

Dem:  "Geez, no wonder you folks can't win an election!  Didn't you hear about the EPA declaring carbon dioxide to be a pollutant?  So electric companies will be forced to close 154 coal-fired powerplants unless they spend billions capturing the CO2 produced when anything burns.  If utilities don't choose one of those options they'll have to pay massive, company-wrecking fines.  Doesn't that sounds like the equivalent of a law to you?"

Conservative:  "Uh...did the EPA and the emperor really do that?"

Dem:  "Guess you weren't paying attention.  Stupid, stupid, stupid, like all you conservatives!  And notice how easily we've managed to overrule virtually every state law requiring people to show photo ID before voting!"  It's like we passed a law saying 'No state can require people to prove they're eligible to vote before casting a vote.'  Except our method is so much faster and easier.  We can get any laws we don't like overturned faster than you dummies can pass 'em.  In fact you dummies can't get a single law passed that we don't want, because you don't have a veto-proof majority.  And never will!  Stupid, stupid.

Conservative:  "But wait... before the repubs won majorities in both the house and senate the media constantly whined that using a filibuster was "obstructing the vital work of congress" and the government.  Hasn't your party used the same thing--blocking bills in the senate with only 40 votes--43 times in the last 4 years?  If it was wrong before, why is the mainstream media totally silent about the exact same thing now?"

Dem: "Because we can use our media friends to change the rules whenever we want.  For example, when Hillary ran the State Department someone there approved the sale of 15 percent of all U.S. uranium leases to Russia.  And totally by coincidence, just a few weeks before that approval the Russian government donated $100 million to the Clinton Foundation.  And it barely gets a whisper in the major papers or the networks."

Conservative:  "Wow, I never heard a word about that.  That's really amazing.  I'll certainly admit that Democrats do seem to control the media.  And you're really pretty smug about it.  Is there anything you won't do, any principle you won't sacrifice, to get and keep power?"

Dem:  "Heeheehee....  Gosh, look at the time!  My government Gulfstream jet is waiting.  Can't keep those babies waiting on the tarmac with engines running for too long or some voter might start to think our president is being hypocritical when it comes to reducing carbon dioxide emissions to reduce global warming!  Or is the new term 'climate change' now?
    Eh, no matter:  Our voters will believe whatever term we end up telling 'em is  the right one."

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