Fishermen find floating trash bag with a body tied inside. FBI gets right on the case

Last Saturday fishermen off the coast of Florida found a floating trash bag.  Inside the tied bag was the body of a 34-year-old woman.

Because the bag was found in federal waters, the FBI immediately took charge of investigating.  And within hours, using their decades of experience in investigating crime they announced a stunning conclusion: 

They announced that the death was "suspicious."

It's SO impressive that they can reach that conclusion even though there were no wounds or bullets or anything.  All from just a body tied up in a bag.  It's amazing.

So next time some crazy "domestic violent extremist" suggests the FBI has become a bunch of armed thugs who raid the homes of Christian protesters and shoot their dogs, and lock up political opponents of our beloved president and his son, show 'em this story.  Cuz the level of expertise demonstrated by FBI crime-solvers in deducing that this death was "suspicious" is definitely reason enough to keep funding the nation's "top law-enforcement agency."

Source.