A brief recap of "newz," as written by the Mainstream Media

• Twatter never censored posts the FBI didn’t like.
• Any mention of Hunter Biden’s laptop is “a classic Russian disinformation op.”
• Hilliary Clinton made money on EVERY cattle-futures trade she ever made because she was an expert in that field--as in everything.
• Nancy Pelosi amassed her fortune without a BIT of insider trading..
• Our southern border is, like, TOTALLY secure.
• Smugglers are NOT bringing enough fentanyl across every week to kill a million people.  Where did you ever get that crazy idea?
• Our beloved president got even more votes than the faaabulous Barack Hussein.
• Disney is NOT pushing gay and trans characters in its movies aimed at your kids.  
• CRT has NEVAH been taught in public schools, and CERTAINLY isn’t being taught now. Swearsies!
• Per the Democrat party, men claiming to be women ARE women
• ...and there are 87 “genders.”  Wait...112.  It's however many we say there are.
• Non-U.S. citizens should be allowed to vote in our elections.  It's right there in the Constitution.
• Duh Chyna virus was NOT modified in a lab!  And anyone who says it was is a "sinophobe"
• Fauci (Doctor Science) never sent U.S. taxpayer money to the Wuhan Institute.  Any reports that the Institute published a paper in 2015 thanking him BY NAME are just crazy-talk.
• Carbon dioxide is a “pollutant,” and is fatally warming the planet!  The CO2 level is higher than at any time in history!  Really!  Would we lie to you?
• If you take the “vaccine” you can’t get Covid, or transmit it.  Our president said so, on video.
• The vax is, like, TOTALLY “Safe…and Effective,” and anyone who says it's not is spouting "disinformation."  
• Publishing "disinformation" or "misinformation" should be a crime.  Cuz "free speech" clearly doesn't mean speech we don't like!
• Only the federal government has the power to determine what constitutes "disinformation."  But the president can delegate that power to the FBI, DOJ, DHS, IRS, HHS as necessary.  And we're all for the proposed "Disinformation Board"--at least while Democrats control the government.
• No federal agency has EVAH ordered Social Media companies to censor posts about Covid, or ivermectin, or any other substance that people claim cures Covid.  Cuz duh Democrats respect the First Amendment, citizen.
  
• The Biden administration NEVER ordered every American who worked for a large company to take the jab. Dat jus’ right-wing conspiracy talk!  All employees had a totally FREE choice, and if they declined the SAFE vaccine, it was totally the company's decision to fire 'em.  Totally.  No compulsion at ALL.
• Trump was trying to sell our nuclear secrets to Russia!  Really!  We told you for his entire term that he'd "colluded with Putin" to steal the election, but some of you didn't believe us.  But we are NOT "election deniers"!  Not at all!  That term only applies to Republicans!
• If you see any videos of athletes and newsreaders dropping dead, we assure you that that’s ALWAYS happened. Not unusual at ALL.  So since it's always happened, obviously it has nothing at all to do with the safe "vaccine."
• The economy is BOOMING! We’re not in a recession, not even close!  Companies are NOT laying off more employees than normal.  Big, socially-responsible companies lay off people all the time. It's perfectly normal. 
  
• Well, it's reasonable except when some evil rich guy buys a faaabulous social-media company.  Then layoffs are absolutely outrageous, and should be a criminal act.  For example, when Elon Musk fired lots of Twitter employees it was heartless!  CRUEL!  Musk is a Hitler-wannabee who puts profits above people, and we should prosecute him for firing those nice people!  He should be more like the wonderful, compassionate Jeff Bezos, who would never fire people at the big newspaper he owns.  Cuz Mr. Bezos--a Democrat--puts people before profit.
• Despite a few mistakes by well-intentioned, socially responsible people, “crypto” is a GREAT investment! Rock-solid, citizen! Trust us!  And if some nice young crypto founders made a few innocent mistakes, we shouldn't be hard on them, right?  Especially if they're "socially responsible" and have given millions of their own hard-earned money to good causes.
  
• It’s absolutely false that U.S. attorneys for the southern district of NY indicted Sam to keep him from testifying before congress.  No connection there at ALL. 
  
• References to alleged emails on what some conspiracists claim--without a shred of evidence!--was a laptop the conspiracists claimed once belonged to Hunter Biden should be considered a "classic Russian disinformation operation."  If you see any disturbing photos alleged to have been found on the alleged laptop, remember that anyone can do anything with Photoshop.  And of course Hunter is NOT a government employee, so there's no legal ground to investigate him.  Any mention of an email on the alleged laptop claiming that "H will hold ten percent for the Big Guy” is slander or libel and will be prosecuted by the DOJ.  And it did NOT refer to our brilliant, honest, well-loved president.  That's just crazy-talk.
• Americans need to stop using oil and natural gas.  Really.  We need to get all energy from "renewables" like wind and solar.
  
• Wind turbines do NOT kill endangered birds, like eagles.  That's just a rumor spread by oil companies.  Do you really think eagles aren't smart enough to avoid big spinning blades?
• Sam Brinton?  Not sure we've heard of him.  There's no record that he was ever an Assistant Secretary of Energy, nor is there a record of who recommended that he be hired, or how he was able to get a Top Secret security clearance.  In fact we're not sure he exists.
  
• Stories that 14,000 mail-in ballots in the mid-term election in Arizona didn't have any signatures, or had signatures that obviously didn't match, are just "unsubstantiated."  And will never be substantiated, cuz no such ballots ever existed.  If you can't find 'em--which you can't--they never existed.  Oh sure, conspiracy nuts say they were destroyed, but that's what they always say, eh?  So you have no proof, except for some silly sworn affidavits, which are probably fake.  And what difference, at this point, does it make, eh?
• A few Republican-controlled states have passed laws requiring voters to show photo-ID to vote.  These laws are unfair to some Americans, because some groups have a lower percentage of people who already have photo-ID, so that's "disparate impact" and clearly racist.  Plus, it's too hard for some people to get photo-ID, even if the laws say the state will provide it at no cost.  Cuz the person would still have to drive into town, and that takes time from that person's college studies.  So we need to be vigilant about filing lawsuits to get all photo-ID laws overturned.
• You know who's most hurt by photo-ID laws?  Transgender people!  Cuz poll workers get paranoid if they see a faaabulously-dressed woman but their ID says they were "assigned" male at birth.  The only way to fix this is to do away with photo-ID altogether!