On the so-called suicide of Jeffrey Epstein

So is there anyone who really believes Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide?  Anyone think it odd that just two weeks ago the guy was said to have attempted suicide but was saved.  Officials say he was then put on "suicide watch," which supposedly has a guard watching the guy 24 hours a day.  Now one network is reporting he was taken OFF suicide watch.

Yeah, dat makes sense.  As Ace put it, apparently the New York prison version of "suicide watch" is just watching you while you commit suicide, so they can critique your form and make suggestions.

Well, commenters on conservative blogs have been having a field day with this. Examples:

• The piece de resistance will be the "discovery" of a detailed confession penned by Epstein exonerating BJ Clinton, all other leftists, and incriminating the president.
• "We didn't do it!"    Posted by: The Clinton mob
• "That's too bad. I was hoping this case would reveal the truth about everyone involved." Posted by: Billy Jeff 
• Hopefully Epstein made sure that if he was found dead, all the dirt he had would be published--what they call a "dead-man switch."  That involves sending the info to honest journalists and straight shooting law enforcement.
  
  Oh.
• "You deplorable dummies are to forget that crazy conspiracy theory we 've spent two years screaming about 24/7, and get right on this new one, which has Trump ordering Epstein's murder at the orders of...The Russians!  
  
  If you could get to believing this new one right away, we'd really appreciate it. Thanks!"  Posted by Your Betters at the Mainstream Media 
• "Hey, people die sometimes.  It's just one of those things. Posted by: Vito Corelone
• "Conspiracy? Ridiculous."   Posted by: Vince Foster
• "Found dead, as in, can't testify?   Posted by: Hillary
• "My daughter Chelsea and I smell a rat...  Posted by: Webb Hubbell
• Guy on Fox said there are cameras on the cell 24 hrs a day.  The bad news is that the video was stored on the same hard drive as Hillary's emails.
• So how long til Twitter starts deleting comments saying there may be something just a bit suspicious about Epstein's death?
• "...but they'll leave up any theories implying that Trump did it!"
• "Yet another innocent life lost to the tragedy of rope violence! #RopeControlNow #CommonSenseRopeLaws  #BanAssaultRopes"
• Just coincidence that the security camera on his cell was being backed to hard drive just when the power failure occurred, and all that data was unfortunately lost...except for the yoga lessons and wedding plans!
• A brilliant touch was when they set everyone up to buy this alleged "suicide" a couple of weeks ago when they reported Epstein was "depressed and suicidal."  Brilliant.
• Democrats blame this on Global Warming climate change in 5..4..3....
• Cory Booker claims he was killed by White Nationalists in 5..4..3.....
• "Of course with Epstein dead the case is effectively closed, so there's no need to review any of the physical evidence--photos, videos and so on--that might implicateg anyone else.
      In any case that was destroyed yesterday...totes by accident, of course.  Posted by:  Chris Wray and your friends at the FBI.
• The FBI already took care of this a couple of weeks ago.  All that's left is the testimony of a bunch of drug-addled, sex-crazed groupies.
• "No shit.  Anyone really believe that the same corrupt organization that tried to overthrow the president is suddenly gonna start preserving evidence to take down the Deep State ?
      Yeah - I ain't buying it either."
• The piece de resistance will be the "discovery" of a detailed confession--printed in block letters but ostensibly from Epstein--exonerating BJ Clinton and all other leftists and incriminating Trump.  It'll be torn into 28 pieces--none of which bears a fingerprint.  Only one piece will be missing:  the one where he would have signed the thing.  Just as the FBI said was found in Vince Foster's briefcase, after it had been turned upside down without the "confession" falling out.  Pretty amazing, eh?
• By next week the mainstream media will be trying to get us to believe no such person as Jeffery Epstein ever existed.
• "Jeffery Epstein?
      "Never heard of him."   Posted by: Charlie Gibson  [you won't get that unless you're a political junkie]
•  His last words were the same as Seth Rich's:"Hi Hillary !  What are you doing here ?"
• Seth Rich was unavailable for comment.
• Next up: "The NYC morgue burned to the ground Saturday night, destroying Epstein's body before we could do an autopsy.  Oddly, our brand new sprinkler system didn't work--but rest assured that we have Top Men investigating the failure.  Top. Men.
• "Sounds like strictly a local-interest-only story... Posted by: ABCNBCCBSCNNMSNBCGOOGLE 
• "Jeffrey Epstein was a colleague, mentor, and most importantly a friend. His silence will echo around the world, and hopefully inspire others to quietly contemplate the blessings of silence.  For the only peace in this life is in quiet contemplation."   Posted by:  Hillary Clinton.
• Gee, this is almost as brazen as a guy getting shot in the back in what the cops called a "botched robbery" where they didn't take his gold chain, his wallet of his cell phone.  Just shot him.  In the back.  Cuz, botched robbery.  Why, it's almost odd enough to make ya wonder!  [Another insider comment:  Those details were the facts on the murder of Seth Rich.  The FBI raided his house and confiscated his laptop four hours later.  It's missing to this day.]
• "What wrong with having sex with miners?
          Posted by: West Virginian Woman

It's easy to sell "everything's perfectly normal" to someone who craves Normal, and 95% of the American public is desperately buying the pitch that "all is normal" right now--anything to help them believe this isn't exactly what it looks like, a murder ordered by someone so powerful that they don't worry about murder, and enabled by corrupt federal employees at every level.
    Faced with either having to accept a fact that would scare them, or simply ignoring the obvious, most Americans will buy any theory--no matter how illogical--to maintain the illusion that the obvious conclusion is wrong.  The initial reports must be wrong.  Yeah, that's it.  Pearl Harbor has NOT been attacked.  Passenger jets have NOT been hijacked by Muslims and flown into the two tallest buildings in the country--and the Pentagon--killing 3000 people.
    Epstein must have killed himself--even though he was on suicide watch, because the alternative--that federal authorities were so corrupt that they casually dropped "suicide watch" on the man who held all the secrets--is too scary to contemplate.  Cuz that would mean.... 
    Don't go there.
    Most Americans need to find a way to ignore frightening information to get on with their day.  Must keep believing everything's jus' fine.  There's no corruption at the highest levels of the FBI or DOJ.  Can't be.  Cuz that would mean...
    Don't go there.