Hillary announces a new program to make life fairer for all Americans
"It's come to my attention that DisneyWorld has been selling a special, higher-priced ticket called a 'fast pass' that lets buyers bypass long lines," said Secretary Clinton. "This higher-priced ticket clearly discriminates against economically disadvantaged Americans. It is unfair, and only benefits people like Donald Trump, at the expense of ordinary Americans.
"Accordingly, in my first 100 days after winning the presidency I will ask congress to appropriate $100 million to reimburse American families that have incomes less than 150 percent of the poverty level for the cost of a 'fast pass.'"
"If the Republicans in congress continue to obstruct vital social legislation like this proposal, I will use an executive order to outlaw this practice."
"Last year the Federal Communications Commission issued a rule banning internet providers from offering customers higher-priced internet service for higher speeds, because such a system would clearly discriminate against economically disadvantaged Americans. Americans clearly believe this rule was a good one, since no one complained about the proposed new rule during the comment period.
"This shows that all good Americans believe no one should be able to use wealth to unfairly buy a good or service not available to every American. After all, fairness is one of our most cherished principles."
"If you're tired of waiting in long lines at DisneyWorld, I ask that you write your member of congress supporting this proposal. And please send a contribution to my campaign fund to ensure I'm elected. Because fairness is our most important principle. And like all Democrats, I support fairness and equality for all Americans, not just the rich.