Your betters explain all those tragic events to you poor, unenlightened souls

Mainstream media:  "Today a crazy person, for reasons we can't possibly determine, has *allegedly* committed a "man-made disaster" after he was pushed beyond the breaking point by white privilege.  And Islamophobia.  But whatever the reason, it had nothing whatsoever to do with Islam."

The emperor:  "Global warming was undoubtedly a big factor.  Or maybe climate change.  So I'm ordering that $20 billion be reallocated from wasteful military spending to fighting global...what's the current term again?"
   "In any case, this unfortunate event had nothing whatsoever to do with Islam."

Hillary:  "White Germans need to look in the mirror and do some soul-searching.  And in any case, this unfortunate event had nothing whatsoever to do with Islam."

Merkel:  "My policies had nothing whatsoever to do with this."

H/T grand_pubah at Zips