Thursday, December 11

The Emperor assures us his amnesty won't depress wages--and he has *studies* to prove it

Two days ago your emperor spoke to his subjects in Nashville, explaining how his executive decree granting amnesty to over five million illegal aliens was a supremely great thing, and that anyone criticizing it hates immigrants and is obviously raaacist.

Here's a short quote on one aspect--the concern that five million new low-skilled job-seekers will likely put downward pressure on wages.  The emperor dismissed this argument with his usual brilliant flair:
There are good people who believe in immigration but are concerned, will new immigrants depress wages, particularly in the low-wage sectors of the economy..... I think the studies have shown that over time immigrants aren’t lowering wages but in fact improving the economy, and over time, boosting wages and jobs for everyone.
There!  Take that, you bitter, conservative clingers!  I have studies!  That show my decision was faabulous and won't hurt wages for low-end jobs.

What's that?  You want a "cite" for that claim?  What's a "cite"?  Ah.  You dare to ask ME to back up my words with something as tawdry and useless as a "cite?"  Outrageous!  But my staff has a PhD economist from MIT on retainer who can give you all the cites you need.  I think his name is Dr. Jonathan Gruber.  I've never met him, and he had nothing whatsoever to do with the Affordable Care Act, but he's verrry smart.  And my staff says he's good at breaking down complex economic principles into small words so you and your readers can understand them.

Also, when I was in college I wrote a term paper on the effects of adding millions of immigrants to a nation's labor pool.  My econ professor--who won a Nobel prize in economics, by the way--said it was the best paper he'd ever read. 

Unfortunately you can't see it because it's been sealed away with my college transcripts and other records.  But you can take my word for it.

After all, I've never lied to you before, right?

1 Comments:

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