How the LGBTetc army are planning to take credit for the Bud Light boycott

From: LGBTQIA+ Headquarters
To: our Media allies
Subject: Instructions

As you all know, after the makers of Bud Light hired one of our dear, dear transgender WOMEN to advertise their product, conservatives called for a boycott of Bud Light.  Sales are down, and conservatives are crowing. 

Obviously we can't afford to let conservatives take credit for this, because that's likely to encourage them to do it in other areas.  So our strategists have come up with a way to snatch what conservatives think is a victory away from them.  This requires your cooperation, as always.

Yesterday morning all LGBTQIA+ organizations demanded that the makers of Bud Light "energetically defend" their partnership with Dylan Mulvaney.  Because the company hadn't responded by 5pm yesterday, we've called on our people to boycott Bud Light.

As a result, in future reporting on this story you should attribute any drop in sales to our group boycotting, instead of conservatives.  Our focus groups show that within ten days half of Americans will believe the sales drop is due to us instead of them.

This reverse will demoralize conservatives and get them to stop the boycott.  Then when sales recover, stories should claim that hiring Dylan didn't hurt the brand at all, but merely shifted some sales to other Anheuser-Busch beers.

As always, thank you for your continued help.

Sincerely,

Karine Jean-Pierre
Pete Buttigeig
Chuck Schumer
Nancy Pelosi