May 02, 2023

Two large nationwide retail chains declare bankruptcy. Media yawns. "Dis don't mean nuffin'!"

Bed Bath and Beyond will close its remaining 360 stores and go out of business.  14,000 employees.  
Democrat pols: "Dis don't mean nuffin'!  Economy fine!  Everyt'ing fine!  Well, except for doze stupid GOP states that have said you can't do tranny stuff to kids under 18.  Dat jus' AWFUL!"

Retail chain "Tuesday Morning" opened 49 years ago.  Three years ago it had 700 stores.  Today it's down to 200.  It just announced it's going out of business in two weeks.

CNN's "story" didn't mention how many employees will be out of a job.  They could have asked a company spokesman, of course.  But they didn't, cuz dat might make a few skittish voters think maybe duh economy wudn't booming quite as much as duh Mainstream Media keep tellin' us, eh?

Hey, we can NOT have dat!  Duh economy beez BOOMING, citizen!  And if anyone says it's not, report them for being agents of Russian disinformation!

Say, anyone hear anything about a bank failing?  No?  Wow, that's a relief. 

Say it with me now citizens!

  • All is well.  
  • Everything is fine. 
  • Democrat policies are best for our nation!  
  • We need more transgender surgeries.  
  • We need more cannabis "dispensaries."  
  • Playing the Lotto is a great way to get rich.  
  • We need more armed IRS agents to ensure the rich pay their taxes.
  • Drop-boxes are good, and any state that says they're not is "suppressing the vote"!
  • We need more immigration, both legal and...um..."otherwise"
  • Every good American will ensure they're up to date on their boosters!
  • China is our friend.  Russia is our enemy.  Russia has always been our enemy.
  • Good Americans don't need guns.  They're dangerous.
  • Good parents ensure their children get vaccinated against Covid at age two.
  • Support all-mail voting, because it's the best way to ensure honest elections.
  • The Covid vaccines are safe, and effective!
  • Six FBI supervisors have testified that they can't reveal whether there were any undercover FBI agents in the J6 riot.  So you should stop asking.  You're not a Putin sympathizer, are you?
  • Teachers should be allowed to say whatever they want to students.  Cuz "free speech," right?
  • Good Americans support "red flag laws" allowing guns to be taken away from bad people.
  • Support unions, because they support the party you like.
  • Don't trust anything you hear unless it's from one of our "trusted sources."
  • You don't need a gun.  The police will protect you.  That's their job.
  • Rumors about a "laptop" belonging to the president's son are Russian disinformation.
  • You can totally trust Twitter!  Wait...now that Musk owns it, you can NOT trust Twitter.
  • Democrats are the party of the "working class."  Ordinary folks, just like you.
  • Did you know guns cause cancer?
  • The GOP is the party of rich billionaires, so they don't like you ordinary people.
  • All cool parents have at least one transgender kid--because that shows you're cool.
  • Drink Bud Light.  Boycotts are so last week.
  • Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is an anti-vax nutjob, so you can't blame us for refusing to hold debates.
  • You need an electric vehicle.  All the cool kids have one.  You're cool, right?
  • The FBI is totally honest, and also non-political.
  • Carbon dioxide is warming the planet so much that all of NYC will be underwater by 2015!
  • The economy is BOOMING!  So buy stuff--like an electric vehicle.
  • Commenters say sales of Bud Light are way WAY up since they hired that cute trans girl.
  • Oil and gas are killing the climate!  A modern nation like ours should only use clean electricity!
  • Courts have no business interfering in elections.  When "the people speak" with their votes, that's the end of it.  No court should try to overturn an election.
  • President biden was SO COOL to name a black female as VP!  Historic!  Very woke!  And she's been SO good at what she does!
  • The government should give poor people more syringes and crack pipes, cuz reasons..
  • It's awful that some people won't call others by their preferred pronouns.  Should be a crime.

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