Scientists baffled by what's causing sudden deaths of fit young Americans--which may not be happening

Latest reassurance from the nation's top Scientists.  (The Left now capitalizes Science cuz that gets the rubes to associate the term with power and authority.)

Medical experts are absolutely baffled as to what could be causing the recent wave of fit young athletes with no known medical problems to suddenly collapse.  The same thing is happening to young people who aren't engaged in lots of high-stress competition, like TV announcers.  Despite the experts' having no idea about what could be causing this, they do feel confident that we can rule out one thing as the cause.

"The CDC claims this isn't happening, so there ya go.  But if it turns out young people are dying suddenly, we'll probably never know the cause.  What we can say with certainty is what ISN'T causing this--if there really is a 'this'," said one M.D. with the CDC. "The one thing we know for certain is that it's definitely not what right-wing domestic violent extremist anti-vaxxer insurrectionists are claiming — if you know what I mean. We can definitely rule out that thing right now, because Science just called us on the phone and told us that wasn't the cause.  And like all smart people, we always 'follow the Science.' "

According to sources, experts have been working tirelessly around the clock to try and get to the bottom of why so many seemingly perfectly healthy, athletic people are falling over suddenly. "We've been trying to find some common factor linking these deaths--which no one has shown are unusual.  We were looking at food allergy or air pollution or global warming, anything in the past year or two that large groups of people were exposed to, but we haven't been able to identify anything the victims had in common," added the CDC rep.. "But we're continuing to look.  In the meantime, be sure to get your next booster!"

At present, experts said the most likely candidates for the cause of these sudden health issues were climate change, racism, Christian nationalism, civilian ownership of guns, racism, right-wing extremism, standing up too quickly, standing up too slowly, and not eating enough bugs.

Hat tip: The Babylon Bee.