Seattle: City-backed homeless shelter gives heroin pipes to homeless, and advice on 'Booty Bumping'

Ever heard of "booty bumping"?  If not, I'll tell you later.  First some necessary background.

Seattle has been run by Democrats for decades.  The results are just as we've come to expect from brilliant leftists:  much of the city has turned into a homeless encampment.  

To improve the health of homeless junkies, for the last 31 years the county that holds Seattle has been giving junkies free needles.  Literally, that program started in 1989, and by 2010 was giving away two million "works" a year.

But now the city's lesbian leftist mayor and her socialist city council began to be concerned about a new problem:  Because so many needles were being given away, some junkies were ruining their veins.  The compassionate, caring liberals who ruled Seattle--with great compassion, of course--were appalled!  "It's hard to believe," they said, "but the millions of needles we've given away may have played a tiny role in bringing this totally unforseeable, totally unpredictable affliction on these innocent people"

They began to worry that someone might connect giving junkies free needles might not be as great an idea as every member of city government knew it was.  So to fix the problem of damaged veins, the city decided to fund a homeless shelter that would give heroin addicts a safer way to get high:  Smoke the stuff instead of shooting it into a vein.  So they started giving away a wide variety of glass heroin pipes to the homeless.

Of course being caring, thoughtful liberals, they were concerned that some shelter "clients" wouldn't start using the free pipes right away, so they continued giving away free needles too.  

But lest you think this was a huge, wasteful boondoggle, the shelters were instructed to firmly adhere to a strict policy:  "Clients" would only be allowed to get one type of free pipe per day.  See, no boondoggle here.

Problem was, smoking heroin didn't provide the huge, instant "hit," the euphoria users were used to.

But the brilliant, compasionate leftists who run Seattle were creative, and came up with a new plan to "reduce risks," as the shelter flyers put it:  They'd teach junkies how to shoot heroin up their...um..."nether orfice."  And would give them "free" kits to do that.

In line with the classic Democrat tactic of giving creative, harmless-sounding names to ghastly perversions, the brilliant leftiists called this practice "booty bumping."  And the ordinary citizens of Seattle praised their leaders effusively.

Wait...do I hear some of you saying this is satire?  That no rational government would give drug addicts needles, or teach people with collapsed veins more effective ways to keep using heroin.  It sounds so totally insane.  Sounds like the most perverse emperors of ancient Rome had somehow come back to life and were running Seattle.  You're right...it does sound insane.  But look below:

 

But there is actually a bit of satire in the above piece:  It's the part about the citizens of Seattle being absolutely delighted about their tax dollars being used to teach "booty bumping."  Cuz no one has ever bothered to ask, any more than anyone has bothered to ask co-president Harris if she supports men competing against women in womens' sports.  

The rulers don't care what you think, citizen.  All they want from you is money and unquestioning obedience.

Source.