A thousand high-paid college "administrators" are determined to reduce stress on college students

Once upon a time, years ago, college was a place to study and learn.  Seriously!

Today that's considered too stressful.  Fortunately, the absurdly expensive daycare centers amusingly called universities have lots of high-paid girlymen who are paid to reduce the awful stress on some of today's college students.

Stress feels bad, and nothing should ever feel bad. Feeling bad is oppressive.  Hence the goal of these "progressives" is to figure out how to relieve stress.

One way to do this is by retreating to childhood. To help their students do this, the University of Colorado and Michigan State provide therapy dogs for students to play with.  Pricier Duke provides therapy ponies.  Oregon State, Minnesota, and Illinois offer coloring books.  University of Michigan has provided Play-Doh.

In previous years the University of Utah set up a Cry Closet.
In China, students are somehow able to get thru exams without any of these amenities.  How do they manage to avoid the awful, crippling stress that plagues college students in the U.S.?

Oooh, wait, I know:  It's because our students are exposed to different opinions on the Internet, while Chinese students don't have the stress of trying to decide what's true.  So obviously we should ban all Americans from using the Internet!

Yeh, dat's it.