Saturday, September 13

President gives "major" speech on "the Islamic State"--never mentions the word "Islam"

The Emperor gave a speech last Wednesday night--and leaks from the White House to friendly media had both ABC and U.S. New (among many others) headlining it in advance as

Obama to give speech Wednesday on Islamic State

Naturally everyone thought that might be the topic.

The Emperor spoke for a long time.  I confess I didn't watch or listen--mainly because as far as I've been able to determine every single word the man says is not just a lie but a transparent, insulting lie, so why waste my time?  But I did do a quick "search" function on the actual transcript.

Much to my non-surprise, the computer couldn't find the word "Islam" anywhere in the text.

I found that so unlikely that I thought my browser's search function had stopped working.  But sure enough, the word "Islam" was never uttered.

By contrast, the word "Islamic" appears...exactly twice, as follows:
At this moment, the greatest threats come from the Middle East and North Africa, where radical groups exploit grievances for their own gain. And one of those groups is ISIL — which calls itself the "Islamic State."
Now let's make two things clear: ISIL is not "Islamic."
So of the two times the Emperor said the word "Islamic," one was to flatly state that ISIL was NOT Islamic.

Well that's certainly a head-scratcher.  Cuz, you know, I could have sworn that in the immediately preceding sentence, His Worminess noted that ISIL calls itself the "Islamic State."

But of course, who would believe members of the organization itself against the word of the Emperor, right?  It's like, who could more reliably decide whether the Pope is a Catholic:  The Pope, or Barack H. Obama?  Of course--Obama, hands down.

If Obama had been alive in 1939, one imagines him reassuring Americans that this Hitler fellow was NOT representative of the Nazi party.  And certainly wasn't one himself.

His pronouncement on ISIL is equally absurd.

So the White House leaks that this speech will be about "the Islamic State."  But according to the Emperor, there is no connection whatsoever between "ISIL" and "Islam."

Other than the fact that actual, you know, members of ISIL call their group "The Islamic State."

And the Emperor immediately told ya ISIL was NOT Islamic.

But don't worry, Citizen:  The Emperor has a brilliant strategy to solve...whatever the hell is wrong over there, if anything.  He won't bother telling you what it is, simply because you couldn't possibly comprehend it, because he's so much smarter than you are.  But don't worry your head about that.

Oh, and that bit in the Consolution or Conflagration or Consternation or whatever that crumbling old yellowing sheet of rambling is called, where it says congress shall have the power to declare war?  The Emperor doesn't need that.  Cuz he's got a PEN--which folks back in 1789 never could have imagined.

Armed with this "pen" invention, the Emperor no longer needs the permission of congress to go to war.  Not that we'll be going to war, of course.  Unless critics say we're not being forceful enough, in which case yes, it's war, but just not war-war.  Or something like that.

See, I tol' ya you couldn't possibly comprehend his strategy.

Which totally proves he's brilliant.


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