Leftist 'comedian' claims businesses don't create jobs

I hate to inflict Bill Mahrer on anyone who's not at least as far left as Janeanne Garofolo, but you should probably take a look at the link. If you don't have much tolerance for idiots (as I don't), fast-forward to 4:20.

You can't really get the full effect unless you read the following with a voice dripping in sarcasm--something Mahrer is very good at.

When did the business community in America become so sensitive, that we have to treat them like some sort of rare, exotic animal? [melodramatic whisper] 'Don't startle them or they'll fly away. We need to soothe them so they'll nest here and lay their magic eggs full of jobs.' [end whisper] Which never hatch, by the way.

By golly, Bill, I think you're on to something. Who needs businesses, anyway? Products are easy to make, so anything you need, a government bureau could produce just as easily as a business, right? Same way with services: Why should a private-sector auto mechanic or plumber or doctor be any better than one paid by the government?

I mean, the old USSR and China didn't allow businesses for most of their existence, and you never saw their residents going without basics such as toilet paper or toothpaste or refrigerators, did ya?

Well, you didn't unless you lived there or had a close friend who did. But let's not confuse your excellent point with, you know, facts.

So by all means, instead of encouraging people to start businesses, let's use the power of government to make it harder to do that. So we get fewer business startups. Now, someone without your great intelligence might think this would also reduce the number of jobs created. But you've just told a couple of million viewers that businesses don't create jobs.

Of course you didn't literally say those exact words. Because if you had, anyone with an IQ above room temperature would instantly realize you were a total moron. So you cunningly disguised that ridiculous lie in your trademarked sarcasm: "We need to soothe them so they can nest here and lay their magic eggs full of jobs.' [end whisper] Which never hatch, by the way."

Of course it's always possible that you meant something other than "businesses don't create jobs," and I didn't catch your drift because your sarcasm is too sophisticated for rubes like me. If you did mean something else, how about letting us all know exactly what that was?

Okay, so if--as you implied so wittily on the video--businesses don't create jobs, Bill, then tell us: Who or what does?

Simple question for a man of your intelligence, Bill.

Who or what creates jobs, Bill?

I don't want to put words in your mouth, but there aren't many other choices other than...government. Would that be your answer, by any chance?

After all, that worked for the USSR and China for decades, right? All their jobs were created by their governments, and they got along just fine, right?

I really think you're on to something, Bill. You and Paul Krugman. With smarts like that, you need to be on Obama's economic advisory board.

Hey, I may actually like that sarcasm thing you do so well.