Vice-president in charge of border problem has a way to deflect criticism for laughably bad speeches

From: OFFICE OF THE VICE-PRESIDENT.  Vice-President.  Second highest offic in the whole damn government!  Let that sink in for a minute!

To: High-level staffers only--do not copy!

Subject: Requirement for speech writers

It has come to my attention that Republicans are making fun of my speeches.  This is obviously unacceptable.  However, because we want to keep promoting people of color in both government and the private-sector, firing any of my speech-writers of color is out of the question.

Also, the Republicans have pounced on what they call high "staff turnover," which is silly, because only a couple of low-level members of my staff have resigned.

SO, my advisors have advised me that the way privileged white males would solve this problem is to hire half a dozen white males from other federal offices to be "supervisory speechwriters."  They'll all be eager to take the job as it's a huge step up to be working for the next president of the country.

Of course they won't actually be writing my speeches (since that would generate discontent in the party's base) but will have the "supervisory" task of either approving or disapproving the speeches written by my regular "diverse" speechwriting staff--which has done such a fabulous job so far.

Since white males will be hugely reluctant to disapprove a speech written by a Female or Transgender of Color, my advisors advise me that the white males will approve every speech.  Then if Republicans pounce on a speech, and the Media doesn't quickly say it was great, we'll fire one of the white male "supervisors." 

Our media allies will approve the firing and blame the fired person for any problems with the speech.  Win-win.

So I want you all to get right on this.  I expect this to be solved by Friday.

Harris giving one of her better speeches