"Global Warming is REAL!!!! Really! I can't believe you deplorables don't know that!!!

"Say, did you hear?  YOU awful, deplorable Americans are destroying our precious planet!  You may well wonder how.  Why, by driving gasoline-fueled cars, and heating your homes!  Oh, and air-conditioning 'em in the summer!  (Cuz two-thirds of the electricity it takes to do that comes from either coal-fired or natural-gas-fired powerplants.)  Cuz the dread pollutant "carbon dioxide" is fatally warming Mother Earth!

"We elites know the Earth's climate is warming, due to CO2, and we know you don't want to kill ALL LIFE ON THE PLANET!!  Right?  So how do we stop Global Warming?  Wait, my bad: "climate change"?  Simple:  YOU must stop driving your gasoline-powered car!  And heating your homes above some nice, survivable temperature, like 45 degrees or so.  And of course no more air conditioning.

"Oh, and no more commercial jet travel.  Cuz our wonderful, pollution-free, Democrat-imposed high-speed trains are nearly as fast.

"What?  Well of course this doesn't apply to government officials!  Why did you even ask?  Cuz we're important.  Our time is valuable.  So yes, we'll continue to fly, just on special Air Force jets.  

"What?  Yes, we rulers will continue to heat our homes, because again, we're important, and we know mental efficiency falls drastically when people get cold.  You wouldn't want your Leaders to not be at peak efficiency, would you?  Yes, I thought not.

"What?  Well yes, presidents of top-ranked universities and PhDs from top schools will be allowed to fly, as will CEO's of companies that make over a certain contribution to the Party every year.  Because again, these are Important People.  Their time is worth a hundred times what yours is.  Plus, if you're no longer allowed to fly, a few Very Important People can fly and the planet will still be saved.

"What?  Yes of course CO2 is a greenhouse gas.  Why do you ask?   No, I'm not precisely sure what it does to the climate.  I'll circle back to you on that.  Wait, my tech person just said it makes the planet hotter, which is why we're ordering you to stop doing things that produce it.  That's why you have to stop driving, flying and heating your homes to over 45 degrees.  Because the dread carbon dioxide is WARMING OUR PRECIOUS PLANET!!!

What is it NOW?  You're getting tiresome.  Of course Global Warming is real!  I can't believe you even asked that.  Why would we Democrat rulers forbid you from emitting so much CO2 if the planet was getting colder, eh?  Good Hillary, you people are SO damn dumb!

 

"Wait...I forgot!  Global Warming is now "climate change."  So even though you may THINK it's getting colder, that's just a head-fake.  You may think that means Global Warming has been solved, but actually that's really dangerous.  See, if it's getting colder, then the climate is changing, and that's bad.  And I'm not agreeing that it's getting colder, but IF it's getting colder, then it may actually be getting warmer somewhere else!  Which means...Global Warming!  Cuz if the planet wasn't getting warmer, what would be the point of us forcing you deplorables to reduce your CO2?

"Good Hilliary, you people are SO dumb!  Next you're probably going to claim there was some fraud in the election or something equally stupid!

Okay, end of satire on the morons ruling this nation.  Now take a look below:  The forecast HIGH for Monday for Kansas City is...ZERO degrees!