"We're sure there wasn't enough vote fraud to change a single state's results. Really. And we've looked!"

The Mainstream Media and the Left have been telling us there wasn't any vote fraud.  Or okay, maybe there was just a tiny bit of, um...inadvertent fraud because a handful of voters who had moved to a different state recently voted in both states, cuz they just forgot they'd already voted.  

Hey, happens to everyone, right?  But only a few votes like that--not nearly enough to change any state results.  So don't get all upset, citizen.

If there had been any organized fraud, or extensive fraud, those expert law enforcers at the FBI would have found it, eh?  And here's what they found:

A crack team of FBI agents went through every file on their desks, and then looked behind the coffee machine in the hall, and didn't find a bit of evidence of vote fraud.  An FBI computer specialist spent the entire week browsing through all the files on his hard drive--even those in the Windows folder!--and didn't find a single bit of evidence of vote fraud.  

Finally, just to be extra-super-special diligent, a team of agents dug a hole at a random location behind the FBI parking lot.  It did not reveal a bit of evidence of vote fraud, and neither did a visit to a local Chinese restaurant.

These results allow the nation's attorney-general to confidently announce that allegations of significant, widespread vote fraud are baseless.  So there ya go.