The power outage in NYC wasn't an accident, but a test of the Green New Deal
Those of you who live in flyover country may not know that the center of the universe--that would be Manhattan--had a power outage last night. The official story was that the "outage" was caused by a transformer fire, but the truth is that it was actually...well, let's let Democrat leader Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez explain:
"Last night's outage was actually a test of my "Green New Deal," to see what would happen when we remove all fossil fuels from U.S. energy. Instead we'd get all our electricity from the wonderful wind and solar. Of course all good, intelligent people--people like me--know this would be great, since we have to do it to, like, save our planet from deadly Global Warming.
The problem is, dumb conservatives claim wind and solar can't provide electricity 24 hours per day! I can't imagine why they say this. It just shows how, like, totally clueless they are, cuz everyone knows the sun shines and the wind blows all the time. Wow, such dummies!
So to prove we can get along fine even without round-the-clock electricity, we wanted to test how the center of the universe would, like, handle a short electrical outage. And I'm delighted to report that the test was a resounding success, proving that even our largest city can work beautifully with occasional outages--even though my chief of staff has assured me there wouldn't be any if we used just wind and solar.
Sure, a few people were, like, stuck in elevators for a couple of hours, but that's trivial. And a few others were stuck in subway trains that stopped, but they eventually walked out, just as I knew they would! Yay!
And of course air conditioning didn't work--but, like, that's a nothing problem: I mean, in my native Puerto Rico only the elites have air conditioning, so it's obviously not needed. In fact I'd gone to the J-Lo concert (just as I'd visited the concentration camps on our southern border, to see for myself), and even with the A/C out it was a very comfortable 86 degrees! No problem, citizen!
So what did we learn from this reassuring test? That conservatives who claim we need the luxury of electricity all the time are wrong, wrong, wrong! They're just saying that to scare you into not supporting my GND. And of course we MUST pass the GND or else we Americans will, like, kill all life on Earth in just 12 years! And I didn't just make that number up. Not at all! It's from the United Nations! Which means it's, like, totally accurate. Cuz you can absolutely trust the UN, since they're absolutely neutral and non-partisan.
"Last night's outage was actually a test of my "Green New Deal," to see what would happen when we remove all fossil fuels from U.S. energy. Instead we'd get all our electricity from the wonderful wind and solar. Of course all good, intelligent people--people like me--know this would be great, since we have to do it to, like, save our planet from deadly Global Warming.
The problem is, dumb conservatives claim wind and solar can't provide electricity 24 hours per day! I can't imagine why they say this. It just shows how, like, totally clueless they are, cuz everyone knows the sun shines and the wind blows all the time. Wow, such dummies!
So to prove we can get along fine even without round-the-clock electricity, we wanted to test how the center of the universe would, like, handle a short electrical outage. And I'm delighted to report that the test was a resounding success, proving that even our largest city can work beautifully with occasional outages--even though my chief of staff has assured me there wouldn't be any if we used just wind and solar.
Sure, a few people were, like, stuck in elevators for a couple of hours, but that's trivial. And a few others were stuck in subway trains that stopped, but they eventually walked out, just as I knew they would! Yay!
And of course air conditioning didn't work--but, like, that's a nothing problem: I mean, in my native Puerto Rico only the elites have air conditioning, so it's obviously not needed. In fact I'd gone to the J-Lo concert (just as I'd visited the concentration camps on our southern border, to see for myself), and even with the A/C out it was a very comfortable 86 degrees! No problem, citizen!
So what did we learn from this reassuring test? That conservatives who claim we need the luxury of electricity all the time are wrong, wrong, wrong! They're just saying that to scare you into not supporting my GND. And of course we MUST pass the GND or else we Americans will, like, kill all life on Earth in just 12 years! And I didn't just make that number up. Not at all! It's from the United Nations! Which means it's, like, totally accurate. Cuz you can absolutely trust the UN, since they're absolutely neutral and non-partisan.
posted by SF at
12:47 PM
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