June 10, 2015

You won't believe the latest IRS defense to keep from turning over crucial emails

Does the name "Lois Lerner" ring a bell?

She was the IRS department chief whose department came up with those illegal, intrusive questions to ask conservative political groups to delay granting them tax-exempt status--some for as long as three years!--while leftist and liberal groups sailed through the entire process in as little as 30 days.

When congress tried to ask Lerner who instructed her to invent these tactics and to use them only to delay conservative groups, she refused to answer, taking the Fifth.  Congress then subpoenaed her computer and emails. 

Ooops, a mysterious hard drive crash took out exactly the two-year period when her program got started--the time you would expect to find any instructions from higher-ups.  Gosh, this is just soooo unfortunate for you Republican members of congress!

Well that's...uh...quite a coincidence, huh.  But shouldn't be a problem because federal law requires that all agencies not only preserve their emails but also have backups to prevent exactly this kind of loss.  And you folks at the IRS must be familiar with this federal law, right?  Cuz you sure as shit demand--demand--that us ordinary folk be up to date on every twist and detail of your ridiculously complex tax laws, on pain of fines.  Even if we don't subscribe to the absurdly costly Federal Register or whatever the fuck you people call the 100-foot-long shelf of fed rules.

So...produce the damn backups!

Oh, so sorry...there aren't any backups.  Which is hard to figure because we remember asking that new hire to set that up the very day the law passed, so...can't figure out why they aren't there.  Wish you could ask the guy but he was a drug addict who got killed in a drug deal.  Sad.
   And we looked really, really diligently for any.  Really.  But even if we'd found any, our tech folks say they wouldn't be...um...organized very well, so it would be almost impossible to search them to find the ones from and to Lerner.  I mean, you could maybe do it but it would cost millions and millions of dollars.  And sine you Rethuglicans are always whining about not wasting taxpayer money we know you wouldn't want to do that!
   But that's all moot 'cuz there aren't any backups.  Really.

WHAT??  But that violates federal law!

Fuck you, citizen.  We're the government, so we don't have to obey your stupid f'n laws.  Not only that, we're the IRS, so fuck all your relatives, too.

[Six months later a whistleblower reports says his department is the one that stores backup tapes of emails; that they DO have the tapes in question; and that they're easy to search for a specific email or sender or recipient.  But here's the bomb:  guy says that the IRS never asked 'em to produce the Lerner tapes.

Never.  Asked.

Someone should be executed for this kind of brazen lying, but we'll get to that later.  In any case, all the above is just background so you'll have a reference for this next bombshell, released yesterday.

Are you ready?

Now attorneys for the IRS are claiming that Lerner's emails--sent and received with her official, taxpayer supplied office computer--are her personal property and don't belong to either the IRS or any other branch of government.

One imagines the IRS attorneys saw Hillary get away absolutely untouched after stonewalling congress about her doing all official business on a private, non-government server in her home, and then refusing to turn over 95 percent of those emails on the grounds they were personal.

But of course no independent person was allowed toverify that.  You just have to trust her word.  Because she's always been so honest the rest of her life, right?

So I expect they saw Hilly's thorough lying work and said "Aha!  Here's what we'll do...!"

It's the Democrat way, baby.  And besides...Dude, that was two years ago!  That's not even news anymore.


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