Sunday, September 28

Team Obama until last week: "Yemen is a model of our successful policies." This week: evacuate embassy.

Until last week or so Team Obama and the Dems had been touting Yemen as a model of how their brilliant, brilliant foreign policy was succeeding.  But then a funny thing happened:  Yemen’s capital was largely taken over by Shi’ite rebels.  The U.S. evacuated our embassy and urged all Americans to leave the country.

Seeing some contradictions, a couple of courageous reporters decided to ask Team Obama about the situation.  The result--predictably--was a fountain of obvious doublespeak gobbledygook.
ED HENRY, FOX NEWS: In terms of decisive action by the president, how can you cite as a success Yemen when the country is falling apart?
JOSH EARNEST, WHITE HOUSE press secretary:  Because, Ed, what we have seen is the effective deployment of counter-terrorism strategy that involves building up the capacity of local forces, on occasion backed by American military forces, to counter extremist threats that are emanating from that country.
Is that sorta like "actualizing the paradigm shift"?  Or "reinforcing the ideation of the protagonists"?  Wait, I know:  It's "emphasizing the dialectic contradiction with the proletariat," right?
HENRY: If it has been so successful why are we pulling our embassy personnel out of there?
EARNEST: Ed, what we have been focused on is mitigating the threat from extremists and denying them the kind of safe-haven that would allow them to plot –
Oh yeah, baby!  We're "denying them a safe-haven"--by inviting them to take over Yemen, thus falling right into our trap!  Which we will now spring by...leaving the country.  Brilliant!
HENRY: The embassy said we are pulling out. We have to get our people out of there.
EARNEST: Ed, what we have seen in Yemen is the effective deployment of a counter-terrorism strategy to put continual pressure on extremist groups that seek to do harm to the United States.
"Pulling out"?  Heavens no!  We're merely executing the "effective deployment of a counter-terrorism strategy to put continual pressure" on 'em.  We are advancing, comrade.  Quibbling over the exact direction of this bold advance just shows you to be a bourgeois counter-revolutionary, and you'd be well advised to get your mind right lest you incur the emperor's wrath.
HENRY: If there is so much pressure why are we leaving?
EARNEST: What that has done is it has prevented those extremist groups from having to plot and plan and carry out, successfully, attacks against the U.S. homeland. That requires vigilance. If we take a day off, they could build up capacity in such a way that would be very dangerous to the U.S. or our interests around the globe.
Yeah, baby!  Our crafty emperor--military expert that he is--has "prevented those extremist groups from having to plot and plan and carry out--successfully--attacks against the U.S. homeland."  And boy are we ever vigilant!  When those fragmented, disorganized al-Qaeda remnants took over the capital we knew it within 30 minutes.

And 30 minutes after that we had strategically destroyed all our files and crypto and started our strategic advance to the rear.  Cuz, like, we never take a day off because the other side--which, by the way, has nothing whatsoever to do with Islam--could contravene the dialectic of the paradigm, actualizing the normative deconstruction and endangering the frumious bandersnatch.

Oh and by the way:  To those of you who may have heard that ISIS is a threat, you can be reassured that your emperor has sent 1,600 U.S. troops to Iraq to stop the advance of ISIS.

And to those Democrats who are concerned about rumors you may have heard that over a thousand U.S. troops have been ordered back to Iraq, you may safely dismiss any worries on this score.  I mean, your president received the Nobel peace prize, remember?  Now, would they have given that prestigious prize to someone who would send troops into another country?  Of course not!

Plus, you know the Constitution says only congress has the authority to declare war, right?  And you didn't hear anything about congress doing that, right?  So how could those rumors of U.S. troops be true if congress hasn't declared war?  Huh?  Huh?  Answer that, smarty!

Besides, you silly Fox people:  If the president had sent U.S. troops back to Iraq, don't you think the New York times would be screaming bloody murder?  Wouldn't there be dozens of anti-war demonstrations with thousands of howling participants?  But you haven't seen that, right?  So how could that be true?  Huh?

Don't believe the rumors spread by the Rethuglicans and their wingnut supporters.  Instead believe your emperor, the NY Times, the WaPo and the television networks.  You'll have SO much less stress that way.

Yemen is a success just like Libya.  Egypt’s a success.  Iraq is a success.  Iran is a success.

Because words mean exactly what Democrats want them to mean.  Nothing more and nothing less.

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