Democrat party reassures party members that Newsom's position on trans is a brilliant fake

From: Director of Strategy, DNC
    To: All Party members

Subject: Positioning on men in girls' sports

You may have been shocked yesterday when our likely candidate for 2028--the charismatic, wildly popular governor of California--appeared on his own podcast and agreed with a sexist right-wing leader that it was unfair to allow transgender girls to compete in girls' sports.

Don't worry:  This is all part of our Plan to win in both 2026 and 2028.

As all Democrats know, our Party is the party of Fairness, Equality, Compassion and Inclusion.  Since all Democrats agree that "Trans women ARE women!" it would obviously be UNfair to ban them from playing highschool and college sports, right?  We are all about Fairness.

So this is also an Equality issue: Since transgender women ARE women, Equality demands that they be allowed to do anything women do...since they're women.

We all know our precious transgender Democrats (and future Democrats) have a terrible burden when it comes to which bathroom to use, so Compassion demands that we make it a federal law that they may use whichever bathroom they like.

Finally, Inclusion:  Many of the strongest supporters of our Party--the ones who can always be counted on to be on the front lines of demonstrations--have had the tragic, life-altering experience of NOT being invited to join groups of snotty, entitled highschool kids whose parents were rich exploiters of the oppressed.  So we must continue to demand Inclusion for everyone.  We must demand that those with bold, artistic hair color, lots of piercings or tattoos, or body shapes that don't match most magazine covers be Included in all groups.  

All the above points are non-negotiable.  Which brings us back to Gavin:  

His agreeing with the conservative that it's unfair to allow XY persons to play in women's sports was a brilliant head-fake, designed to woo three percent of undecided voters to vote Democrat in both 2026 and 2028.   

We have planned all this out in detail, just as we planned for ouah beloved former president to step aside at the last minute so we could nominate a much younger, charismatic candidate.  We only lost because Trump stole the election by getting swing states to outlaw perfectly legal "drop boxes."

So don't worry, supporters!  Your Party's policies haven't changed!  Now,here are some talking-points you can use to educate undecided friends: 

Conservatives often criticize the idea of "gender-affirming care" by bleating "God doesn't make mistakes."  You should boldly tell 'em that the idea of an all-powerful, all-seeing Sky Friend is a social construct used to intimidate children.

Conservatives also bleat that allowing stronger trans-women to compete can injure smaller opponents.  You should point out that far more injuries are inflicted by XY players on other XYs, "But you people never complain about THAT!  You only get upset when one of our beloved tran-women injures another girl!"

This argument has been tested in focus groups and is extremely effective.  It's the same approach we've used when conservatives argue that "undocumented Americans" rape or kill American girls: "More attacks are committed by American citizens!"  It works beautifully.

Finally, one of the strongest supports for "gender-affirming care" is that if pyrsyns under 18 aren't allowed to transition, they're more likely to commit suicide.  This always silenced conservative opponents.  But now they're starting to cite new studies that claim that's not true.  To defeat that argument, counter "Those studies were all done by conservative groups."  If you're challenged on this, simply say "Do your own research.  I'm not going to do your research for you!"  Works every time.

Sincerely,

(name redacted)

Director of Strategy