Whoa! Brits report that not a single case of flu has been detected in England this year. Totally unprecedented!

That Chinese virus is amazing!  It's totally vanquished the flu!

Of course you don't believe that--and I don't blame you.  But fact is, out of 685,243 samples that have been examined at the laboratories of "Public Health England" since the first week of January, not a single one has tested positive for influenza.

Wow, that's really...unusual, eh?

See, here in da U.S. dere ain't been no cases of da flu either.  Say, ain't dat kinda odd?  You don' spose dat have anyting to do wif da CDC tellin'' all dem hospitals to claim people who be dyin' wit' da flu really be dyin' from da Chinese virus, do ya? 

We bettah b'lieve da CDC.  Cuz if'n ya don' believe da gummint, da gummint be takin' yo' relief check away, hey?  Like dem bros on Fakebook an' Twatter who say da leckshun be ripped off by Dems, so Fakebook an' Twatter done cancelled dere accounts.  See you caint be sayin' stuff da Dems don' lak.

Source.