Harris/Biden treasury secretary Yellen announces new design for the penny and $5 bill

 

WASHINGTON, D.C.— On Friday President Biden's new treasury secretary, Janet Yellen, announced that starting next year, new pennies will replace the image of Abraham Lincoln's head with the less-racist symbol of the far-left movement:  the iconic clenched "black power" fist.

"Abraham Lincoln never once said 'Black Lives Matter,'" Yellen said, "so the co-presidents have ordered this fair, reasonable, equitable change.  As my first act in office I will execute the co-presidents' order that this un-woke white male be removed from the penny, the five-dollar bill, and anywhere else his racist presence rears its ugly, hatted head."

"Sure, he freed the slaves, but he didn't raise his fist and say 'Black Lives Matter!' while he did it, so he must be cancelled."

The Harris/Biden transition team is also moving ahead with plans to level the Lincoln Memorial and replace it with a statue of Karl Marx, who was in no way racist and definitely would have said Black Lives Matter if he knew more black people, sources confirmed.

Okay, this is from the Babylon Bee, but in light of recent unbelievable events, totally believable.