Democrats, environmentalists and class-action attorneys say they'll sue car-makers, ban private ownership

Washington D.C.-- Today a coalition of Democrats, environmental groups and class-action attorneys announced that they plan to sue all automobile makers in federal court, on the grounds that even when cars aren't defective, and work exactly as advertised, they're "inherently dangerous" and should not be sold to private citizens.

"Cars are deadly," said senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY).  "They kill our innocent young children.  Furthermore, secret documents show that car makers have known for years that their products were deadly, yet went right on selling them to Americans.  This clearly shows the makers were reckless in their disregard for how dangerous their products were and are.  Cars are too dangerous to permit civilians to own and operate."

House minority leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Ca) noted "Every year over 10,000 children under the age of 18 are killed by cars.  This is horrible, and we cannot continue to stand by and do nothing.  We must act to remove this danger to the public."

"Republicans and other deplorables claim cars are useful, and sometimes serve a necessary function.  But any legitimate need can easily be filled by professional drivers, tested and certified by the Department of Transportation.  We don't allow citizens to carry handguns, but delegate that job to trained professional law enforcement officers, so doing the same for cars is just as logical.  Banning privately-owned cars is perfectly consistent with this."
 

Appearing on CNN, former president Barack Obama backed the lawsuit