Thursday, December 24

Uh-oh: Solid evidence of globull warming found. Looks like Al Gore was right. Wait...

This just in:
      The Arctic Ocean is warming up, icebergs are becoming scarcer and in some places the seals are finding the water too hot, according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from our consulate at Bergen, Norway.
      Reports from fishermen, seal hunters and explorers all point to a radical change in climate conditions and hitherto unheard-of temperatures in the Arctic zone.
      Exploration expeditions report that scarcely any ice has been met as far north as 81 degrees 29 minutes.
      Soundings to a depth of 3,100 meters showed the gulf stream still very warm.
      Great masses of ice have been replaced by moraines of earth and stones, the report continued, while at many points well known glaciers have entirely disappeared.
      Very few seals and no white fish are found in the eastern Arctic, while vast shoals of herring and smelts which have never before ventured so far north, are being encountered in the old seal fishing grounds.
      Within a few years it is predicted that due to the ice melt the sea will rise and make most coastal cities uninhabitable.
Oh wait--seems this report was from November 2, 1922, as reported by the AP and published in The Washington Post 93 years ago!

But trust your betters in the elite media and government:  Globull warming is reeeally happening, and it's being caused by YOU, because you insist on driving your own car!  You must hate the planet!

And your great-grandparents must have been driving a huge stealth fleet of SUV's back in 1920 to cause all that warmening back then.  Shame on you, and them, and all you Americans!

Boy it's a good thing big jet airliners don't emit any CO2, cuz if they did some of you dumb commoners might insist that we elites stop flying to all those worldwide conferences on how to cut CO2 emissions so we can save the climate from global warming!

Wait...what?

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