Thursday, April 21

NY Times wants me to *subscribe* ???

Yesterday we got a letter from...the New York Times. They were offering us the opportunity to subscribe for less than four bucks per week.

Now, we live in the heart of flyover country--a world away from New York. So I wondered what kind of mailing list we got on to get this offer.

The offer included one of those "Return postage paid" envelopes. So I searched all my blog posts for anything mentioning the Times or idiot economist Paul Krugman, printed 'em all out on six pages of nice, heavy paper and dropped it in the mail.

Here's the beginning:
Thank you, Times marketing department, for your kind offer to subscribe at a bargain price. As someone who lives in flyover country--where everyone around me seems to revel in freedom, love of country, support for American troops, politeness to others, being responsible adults and so on--I feel totally isolated and surrounded by bitter people clinging to their guns and their religion. Receiving your paper would be a lifesaver!

I really need to read articles criticizing the way heartland residents live, and the things they value, in order to feel normal.

I love the Times' anti-freedom, anti-Constitution, anti-capitalist, anti-military, anti-energy and ultra-left slant on every article. It makes me feel there may yet be hope that this lousy excuse for a country can be transformed into a socialist paradise, where everyone has an equal amount of everything, and without having to work for a living.

And I want to thank you for your support for Barack's health care reform act. That was badly needed, because health care in America was so awful before. Now it's getting better, plus it'll save enough money to cut the national debt in half. At least that's what Paul Krugman has implied. And he won a Nobel so he's gotta be really smart.

Oh, and I appreciate your stream of articles critical of that awful Palin woman. Gee, what a moron!

Oh, and your support for laws to ban handguns is brilliant and so logical. I mean, New York City doesn't allow people to own guns and look how well that's worked! I hear that many of the muggers in the city now just hand people engraved notes saying "Because I'm a law-abiding citizen I don't have a gun, but give me your money and your watch because you'll feel better for supporting social justice. Thanks!"
It gets better from there.

Can't wait for the reply.


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