After biden's 'forgiving" $10,000 or $20,000 in student loans, here's the latest proposal from the Democrat party

From: Speaker Pelosi
To: Members of our wonderful Party
Subject:  Our next proposed laws

As you know, President Biden has taken the brilliant step of proposing to forgive either $10,000 in student loan debt, or $20,000 for low-income voters.  This is brilliant, as it will cause millions more Americans to vote for our Party in November.

We're consulting with the president's team to see whether this goal can be better accomplished by Executive Order or whether it would be better for Congress to pass a bill.  When we decide, I'll let you know.

Now, building on this fabulous policy, here's our next brilliant proposal:  

As some of you know, our Party is working hard to stop climate change (formerly called "Global Warming").  To do this we need to get all Americans to buy clean, non-polluting electric vehicles, abolishing all fossil-fueled vehicles.  To make this more attractive to voters, the "Inflation Reduction Act" just signed into law will pay voters $7,500 to buy an EV.  This was brilliant.

Unfortunately our political enemies are claiming that EVs have a hidden cost that makes them unattractive: that the batteries only last five years or so, and that replacing those batteries can cost over $26,000 per vehicle.

Our diligent staff members didn't recognize this as a problem since no one in government ever keeps a vehicle more than a year or two.  Normally if you need to buy new tires it's time to get a new car, right?

SO...since the president's announcement that we'll forgive $10,000 or $20,000 in student loans has been greeted with such huge approval by everyone--especially by the Media-- and has resulted in a huge surge in donations to the Democrat Congressional Campaign Committee, we've come up with a new proposal that will not only make EVs more attractive but will also win us more votes in November:

We're putting the final touches on a bill that will pay EV owners up to $25,000 when they have to replace the batteries in their EV.  This will also apply to voters who buy a used EV.

We've already consulted with the White House and have been assured that the president will sign this bill.  Now our job is to get it passed quickly, before the November elections, since that will bring voters out to support our Party's candidates.  

This doesn't give us much time, so we expect everyone to support this, and ensure the Republicans don't pass any amendments.  Your cooperation is appreciated.

Wishing our Party perpetual control,
   Nancy