Biden* to be inaugurated behind 12-foot fence, guarded by 30,000 troops, cuz he's so hugely popular

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President-elect Joe Biden will be inaugurated this week, and due to his incredible popularity with the American people that will take place in a top-secret location behind a massive 12-foot wall guarded by 30,000 soldiers. 

CNN's Don Lemon explained "The people running the inauguration have to do this because President-elect Biden is so incredibly popular.  He has so many huge fans that they might try to rush the stage as they're overcome with enthusiasm and love for Biden, who is by far the most beloved candidate who has ever been chosen as President."

In addition to the 12-foot electric fence topped with razor wire, and the 30,000 armed soldiers, all of whom have been vetted as reliable Democrats, the area will be blanketed  by armed drones programmed to target MAGA hats, a platoon of ninjas, and a moat filled with crocodiles dug all the way around the Capitol Building and White House. 

Biden will then be escorted to a secret underground bunker patrolled by attack choppers where he will give the oath of office in a darkened concrete room with no recording equipment.

Democrat Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi explained, "This is a slight break with tradition but it's necessary because Biden is just so incredibly popular and loved by the people." 

Sources say that Biden will be brought to an undisclosed location after the inauguration to live out his remaining days peacefully until Kamala Harris's inauguration next week. 

Source: The Babylon Bee.