Absolutely nothing unusual about the election results, citizen. Why do you ask?

 A barely-functional 78-year-old rarely left his basement to campaign.

When he did leave, his rallies often drew only a dozen people-- half of whom were reporters.
He picked one of the most unpopular, far-left members of congress as his VP
Trailing by scores of thousands of votes at 11pm, he mysteriously got huge vote dumps at 4am, giving him more votes than the wildly popular (sic) Barack Obama.
His inauguration is guarded by 20,000 troops.

And the media call anyone who dares to question the results of the election a crazy conspiracy theorist.