July 24, 2020

Major-league baseball games to be televised with digital crowds--that can move!

As many of you may have heard, when Major League Baseball kicks off its delayed 2020 season, fans won’t be allowed in many of the ballparks. This worried TV networks, with execs worried that seeing empty parks might reduce the compulsion to watch for some fans.

But technology will solve that!  To make the game look and sound like a traditional event, Fox Sports plans to use computer graphics to put images of spectators in the seats.  Seriously.

See, pre-season games put cardboard cutouts of people in a few dozen seats, but astonishingly, it didn't take most viewers long to figure out that the fans weren't real.  And as a Fox exec explained, "We had a vision for making our broadcast games look totally natural,” says Brad Zager, executive vice president and head of production for Fox Sports. “A lot of that is having a crowd in the stadium.”

And not just fixed images, either!  The fake fans will be able to actually MOVE so they look more real.  Producers can also change the predominant colors, to match home-team fans.  The tech wizards can even have the crowd do a wave, says Zager, and can even remove crowd members if need be. “If it’s an 8-to-1 game, the crowd can be thinned out” late in the game, he explains.

All pro sports broadcasters are wondering how far can they go to "augment" games without alienating viewers.  ESPN--which was once a sports network but is now a progressive arm of the Democrat party--has said it plans to play up the natural sounds of the ballpark – music from the home team’s organist, words from its in-stadium announcer – so fans at home feel all is normal. “Sneaking in just enough fake crowd audio makes the broadcast much more authentic than I thought it would be” said one ESPN exec.

The networks need games to look convincing because millions of dollars in ad revenue are at stake.  And to the surprise of no one, Major League Baseball is totally on-board.  The league has distributed 75 different sound effects, including cheering, roaring, disappointment and "regular crowd buzz."

Wow, it's no wonder these guys are "senior executives," eh?  And I'm sure most Americans will be, like, totally fooled, just as they were when the networks spiced up their comedy shows with "laugh tracks."  I mean, we all thought those were totally live, right?

And here's a free idea for a top Democrat party advisor:  You guys should consider using this faabulous, pioneering technology to make it look like Joe Biden is appearing before hundreds of people instead of alone in his basement.  You can even splice in shots of fake "reporters" and then audio of campaign workers--posing as reporters--asking him scripted questions!  Which, when you think about it, is the same as now.

Fake "reporters" simulating fake news.  Too funny!  Who would have thought?  Art imitates life, eh?

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