Theft in da CHAZ? Nah, bro, just think of it as an "unplanned donation" to a needy comrade

Surely by now every American has heard about the leftist's Paradise on Earth called the "capitol hill autonomous zone."  The leftist, lesbian mayor calls it a "block party."  You bet.  Party party.

It's a commune, with no cops.  Which is exactly what the Leftist rebels said they wanted.  They also claim to hate guns, yet the top thugs in the zone have guns running out their ears.

Meh, details, details.

But who needs cops when there isn't any crime, right?  I mean absolutely no crime whatsoever!

Wait...maybe there's just a tiny bit of crime.  For example, watch what happens when one resident of the zone went for a walk and came home to find his laptop, cash, food and supplies had been stolen exuse me: "redistributed."  After the victim posted about the theft excuse me:  mysterious disappearance, watch how one of his fellow budding communists tries to talk him out of calling it a "theft:"

"You don't exactly know what happened to your belongings--only that they vanished.  So to say it is a theft is not entirely fair."

"You're absolutely right, comrade.  I do NOT know that my laptop, cash, food and supplies were "stolen."  It's possible they just grew legs and went for a walk, right into another comrade's tent.  Yes, that's undoubtedly right.  It was offensive of me to say they'd been stolen, and I deeply apologize for my bourgeois running-dog capitalist-lackey attitude!"

 

But the enforcer isn't finished guilting the victim, and goes on to suggest that "It could be that a disadvantaged resident was in greater need of [your items] than you..."

Wait...wouldn't that mean they were, in fact, stolen--regardless of how the comrade rationalizes it?

Why yes, yes it would.  So the coup-de-grace by the enforcer:  "You need to treat this...mysterious disappearance as an unplanned donation."

Wow, this opens all sorts of possibilities, eh citizen?

Comrade Raz: "Say, Ms. Suburban Democrat Soccer Mom, nice house!  Thanks for giving it to the comrades of chaz!"

Dem Soccer Mom:  "What are you talking about?  And what are you doing in my house?"

Comrade Raz:  "That sounds dangerously close to thoughtcrime, comrade.  Ain't yo house.  You just made an 'unplanned donation' to the struggle.  That's a good thing, and the Party is proud of you.  Did you have any other questions, comrade?"

Dem Soccer Mom:  "You can't do this!  This is my house!  Get out before I call the police!"

Comrade Raz:  "Lissen, beeatch, you done donated dis house to da cause.  We threw yo clothes in da basement, which you can live in as long as we let you.  Now shut up and go downstairs.  Besides, ain't no cops no mo.  Comrade mayor done fired 'em.  Cuz cops be raaacist."

This person left their tent to go for a walk around the beautiful nation of #chazseattle. When they returned their laptop was stolen, $400, food and supplies. What follows is priceless: pic.twitter.com/fRCqkGfaCQ

— Victor Tango Kilo (@GenghisKhet) June 14, 2020