So-called "progressive" cities write new Miranda rights script for their police (before abolishing 'em)

Thirty or so years ago the Supreme Court ordered cops who had apprehended a suspected criminal (after watching him fatally shoot a victim) not to ask the shooter any questions without first reading him a statement of his right to an attorney, and warning him that any statements he made could be used against him at trial.

This was the famous "Miranda warning," and it's become standard all across the U.S.

But because "progressive" city governments are so...socially hip...they've re-written the original Miranda warning to make it more applicable to today's reality, in which rioters and arsonists are never prosecuted.  Here's the draft version:

"Please forgive us for interfering with your criminal activities.  We understand that you weren't raised with the white privilege we have, and that this lack of privilege forces you to do whatever we just saw because of oppression and inequality.

So just continue with whatever you were doing, and have a good and profitable day. Again we sincerely apologize for any inconvenience we may have caused you by forcing you to momentarily pause in your looting, arson or assault.  We will now retreat back to our station and ask for forgiveness from the Community Police Monitoring Commission.  Thank you for your attention, and have a good day."

[okay, maybe the above was satire.  But it's getting harder to tell the difference between satire and reality these days!]