The next Great New Proposal by Dems to reduce plastic waste

From:  House Speaker Pelosi and Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
To:  Our Democrat colleagues
Subject:  Our next strategic objective

Thanks to our bold, innovative leadership, our party has had great success against that lousy dictator who illegally occupies the Oval Office.  Thanks to our demands for Medicare for All, elimination of fossil fuels, ending commercial jet travel, "forgiveness" of all student loans and citizenship for the poor around the world who just want to come to America and vote Democrat, we're got him and his lackeys on the run. 

And now we're ready to unveil our next plan: 

Our polls show that most Americans agree with our push to eliminate plastic bags.  So now our pollsters tell us the public is ready for a ban on...ballpoint pens.  See, virtually all of them are plastic, and once the ink runs out, 99 percent are simply thrown away, polluting our beautiful oceans!

There's no excuse for this sort of waste.  Polls show that voters strongly approved our bans on plastic straws, so we're confident they'll support banning plastic ballpoint pens.

Of course our political enemies will try to block us, whining that plastic ballpoint pens perform a useful function.  But just as electricity from fossil fuels can be replaced by wind and solar, there are lots of ways to replace ballpoint pens.  The fountain pen, or even the quill pen, write beautifully.

So, you can expect a rollout of this proposal in the next two weeks.  Our focus groups say the public will strongly support this proposal.  And that it will help us win the presidency and senate in November.

Onward, members!