All the Dem presidential candidates have signed on to the party's "platform." And what is that?

Every Democrat candidate for president has signed onto a "platform."  Unless you're a political junkie you probably don't know what it is.  But since the future of our country depends on who wins the election, you should know what their platform is.

So here ya go:

• "Medicare for all"--and what you don't realize is that "Medicare for all" is actually government running all health care.  How'd Obamacare work out?  Obama absolutely promised that the average family would SAVE $2500 a year.  Yet the average family ended up paying far MORE, and with deductibles of $10,000 per year.  And of course you know that even trying to pay for Medicare for people over 65 isn't working, so how can the gruberment afford to pay for health care for everyone, eh?  But don't question it, cuz, reasons.
• Open borders.  Except the Dems don't call it that, cuz rational Americans realize that would be a disaster.  So the Dems call it "decriminalizing unauthorized border crossing."  Because that sounds so...harmless.  Oh, and the leftist cesspool rag Huffington Post put this under the headline "Repeal the law that criminalizes migrants."  Really?  No.  The open-borders crowd at Huffpo wants you to think that all migrants are being "criminalized," but the law only applies to ILLEGAL immigrants--something the communists at HuffPo well know.  But don't want to admit.
• "Free health care" for all the illegal aliens the Dems allow to enter courtesy of open borders.  Cuz it's only fair, citizen.  And if you disagree, you're a racist!  And you don't wanna be raaaacist, do ya?
• "Free" college for everyone.  But wait...would it really be "free"?   Uh, no--not unless the Dems have figured out how to get professors and administrators to word for nothing.  Oh, you say the profs and adminishits surprisingly refused that kind offer?  Wow, I'm shocked.  Are you?  But if the profs won't work for nothing, how can college be "free" for everyone?  Dems don't want voters to ask.  And not a single reporter for the Lying Mainstream Media will dare ask.  The truth is that the Dems want taxpayers to pay.
• "Erasing student loans."  "Erasing."  Isn't that a wonderful turn of phrase?  Got a problem?  Simply "erase" it!  That is SO cool, eh?  Except..."erasing" isn't exactly what the Dems are proposing here.  What they're actually proposing is for the loans to be repaid by...wait for it...taxpayers.  Like your parents.  And once you enter the job market, people like you.  But they don't want you to know that.  So they use the far more attractive term "erase."  Hey, words should be used creatively, so people aren't scared by new things, eh?
• "Reparations" for descendants of slaves.  Every single Dem candidate has sworn his or her support for this.  But wait...my ancestors didn't arrive in the U.S. until 1885--over 20 years after slavery was outlawed here.  They never owned slaves...and yet the Dems demand that the entire taxpaying population pay reparations?  In fact, no one alive today was EVER a slave, nor owned slaves, so how is it reasonable to force whites to pay money to people who were never slaves?  But no matter, citizen:  If the Dems are elected, that's what you'll be forced to do.
• Reparations for homosexuals.  Wait...WHAT?  Oh yeah!  Because according to Elizabeth Warren, before "gay marriage" was legalized by the supreme court, the tax laws treated homosexuals unfairly.  How?  By not letting them file joint tax returns, which hetero married couples could do.  But wait...for decades, tax analysts wrote about a thing called the "marriage penalty," in which married couple filing joint returns actually paid MORE tax than if they hadn't been married.  WHOA, doesn't that torpedo Warren's entire argument?   Why yes, it does.  But no reporter will point that out, cuz doing so would make that reporter an enemy of the gay mafia.  Which will get you fired.  So now the question is, when a gay leftist reporter asks the OTHER Dem candidates if they agree with Warren about reparations for gays, what do you think they'll say?  "No, I think that's nuts"?  Hahahahahaha!  No.  They don't wanna lose the gay vote, so they'll agree.
• "Climate change" is the greatest threat to the planet.  And the Dems claim "climate change" (formerly "global warming") is caused by CO2--emitted by burning fossil fuels like oil and gas. And what's the solution the Dems propose?  The "green new deal."  So what does that mean?  Why, eliminating the use of all fossil fuels.  Well, not ALL fossil fuels, but just in the U.S.  So we give up 40 percent of our electricity.  And your car.  And flying.  The rest of the world doesn't.  Yeah, that'll work.  Oh, and you'll end up paying two or three times more per month for electricity, cuz of a little thing called "supply and demand."  But don't worry, citizen:  The so-called "laws" of supply and demand are actually nonsense--"tools of the patriarchy, used to oppress workers and people of color!"  (Do I really need to add that that's sarcasm?)
• "Gun control."  Year after year, 98% of shootings is with handguns.  But gun-grabbers realize that trying to pass a law banning private ownership of handguns violates the Constitution's second amendment.  So anti-gun zealots have zeroed in on scary "long guns" that look like military weapons (but aren't cuz they're limited to one shot per pull of the trigger).  So Dem candidate Eric Swalwell has proposed a "mandatory buyback" of long guns that look scary.  Of course a "mandatory buyback" is confiscation, but he doesn't want to call it that, cuz he knows lots of voters would be...uneasy about that.  But hey, at least he's generously letting you still own a handgun.  Well, at least for now.  So is this idea limited to just one Dem candidate?  Well, until a leftist moderator at a future Dem debate asks each candidate "We all know guns kill millions of innocent people--including thousands of children--every year.  [Not even close but...]  Do you support a mandatory buyback of dangerous 'assault weapons' that have no use outside the military?"  And what do you think each candidate will say?  "Nah, Rachel, I think the second amendment means what it says"?   Uh...no way.  They'll all agree.

The Dems are actually pushing even more goofy socialist proposals but this will do for now.  So if you like the ideas above, vote for the Democrat nominee.  Oh, and be sure to vote for Dems for congress too, cuz we wanna ensure that the Dem president gets an endless stream of bills to sign into law implementing all the above. Yay!!