Determined to find collusion, House Democrats subpoena God to testify

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In their continuing efforts to determine how President Trump managed to steal the 2016 election from Hilliary Clinton, two days ago House Democrats subpoenaed God to compel Him to testify before the House Oversight Committee.

Democrat leaders were quick to explain that while they don't actually believe in God, the failure of the two-year Mueller investigation to find any evidence of collusion with Russia had forced them to explore "all possible avenues" in their exhaustive search for an answer as to how Trump managed to squeak out the astronomically unlikely win.

"We're not sure if God actually exists," said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, "But if he or she or xe does exist, my party will compel their testimony.  If Trump colluded with God to steal the election, we'll find out.  And that would certainly be grounds for impeachment."

After the Lord failed to comply with the subpoena, Democrats vowed to hold Him in contempt of Congress.  Later they ate a bucket of KFC on the House floor to mock Him for being "a chicken" and issued a stern warning.

"Our subpoenas are not optional," said Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee Jerry Nadler. "When the Congress of the United States commands you to appear, you must appear. I don't care if you are the Lord of all creation. Trump could not possibly have won the election without colluding with some power, and we are determined to get answers."


H/T Babylon Bee.