Can anyone tell real headlines from satire anymore?

Some headlines, some fictional headlines.  Question is...which is which?

• Democrats demand Supreme Court nominee not be unduly influenced by U.S. Constitution
• San Francisco: man dumping off 20 lbs of human waste in plastic bag on street corner cited for using non-biodegradable plastic bag
• Mueller investigation has finally determined that the lyrics to Louie Louie are not about Trump and Russian collusion
• California to transition all state jobs to illegal aliens by 2020; experts say the savings will let state avoid bankruptcy and still have money left over for social programs for illegal aliens
• Senator Bernie Sanders introduces "single-payer public transportation bill," which will end America's unequal, unfair, and expensive private transportation system
• CNN: Trump reverses Obama's executive order banning hurricanes; ending the ban is likely to kill thousands of Americans
• When asked if to find North Korea on a map, 46% of U.S. high school students didn't know what a map was
• BREAKING on CNN, WaPo, NYT:  Anonymous sources claim Vladimir Putin may have ties to Russia
• University ranked "most intolerant of free speech" in new study fights the accusation by banning the student newspaper from reporting the story
• CNN: New evidence proves Donald Trump conspired with voters in Michigan, Wisconsin and Pensylvania to defeat Hillary Clinton
• Study finds yet another area of unconscious racism in white children: 99.3% build only white snowmen
• BREAKING: Millions of uncounted votes found on Hillary's private voting machine in her Chappaqua bathroom

Hat tip to The Peoples' Cube.