Friday, June 2

Associated Press and WaPo report record-high temperatures in the arctic!

From the Associated Press, published in the Washington Post:
The Arctic Ocean is warming up, icebergs are growing scarcer and in some places the seals are finding the water too hot, according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from Consulate at Bergen Norway.

Reports from fishermen, seal hunters and explorers all point to a radical change in climate conditions and hitherto unheard-of temperatures in the Arctic zone.  Exploration expeditions report that scarcely any ice has been met as far north as 81 degrees.  Soundings to a depth of 3,100 meters show the Gulf Stream very warm.  Great masses of ice have been replaced by moraines of earth and stones, the report continued, while at many points well known glaciers have entirely disappeared.

Very few seals and no white fish are found in the eastern Arctic, while vast shoals of herring and smelt which have never before ventured so far north, are being encountered in the old seal fishing grounds.

Within a few years it is predicted that due to the ice melt the sea will rise and make most coastal cities uninhabitable.
SEE, you "climate deniers"?!!  We tol' ya disaster--due to global warming climate change--was imminent!  But y'all didn't listen, eh?  While 98 percent of all scientists were telling you that CO2 was a dangerous pollutant, you stubbornly claimed CO2 was actually *good*, because plants just had to have it to make food and oxygen or some such rubbish!

Well how do ya feel now, you stupid, deplorable morons?  By the end of this year sea level will rise 30 or 40 feet, and boy then you'll be sorry!  From now on you anti-science morons will pay attention to those of us who went to Hahvahd and Yale instead of some dumb cow-college in flyover country, and you'll do as we say!  Yeah!

Wait...what?  You say the article above--printed in our Bible, the Washington Post--was actually printed on November 2nd, 1922?

But...but...but...if that story is accurate, it would mean scientists had measured glaciers retreating and arctic ice diminishing back in...1922.  But...but...but...that was back before Americans started owning and driving all those cars and producing all that CO2--which would destroy our whole CO2-causes-global-warming-climate-change theory! 

So this must be a hoax!  You can't prove the Post even published this--let alone in 1922!  Is there even a place called "Bergen, Norway"?  In fact, I'm going to take your name and address, citizen, so you can be rounded up for re-education. 

So there!


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