Muzz blow up oldest church in Iraq; emperor tells us not to get on our high horse about it

According to Rudaw, an Iraqi news agency, security sources from the Ninevah police district said that stone-age cretins from Islamic State blew up the Church of the Immaculate Virgin—one of the largest and oldest Chaldean churches in the ancient section of Mosul.

Wait...how can that be?  Because the emperor has absolutely, totally assured all of us that Islam is "the religion of peace" and all that.  Is this something a "religion of peace" would do?

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Oh! oh! oh! wait!  I got it!  The explanation--crafted by the finest minds on the emperor's team--is marvelous in its guile: it's that members of "Islamic State" aren't really Muslims! 

Yes, you heard that right, citizen.  They aren't Muslims.  They just appropriated the name of that mahvelous, female-oppressing, clitoris-removing, music-banning, dog-hating, bullshitty but oh-so-peaceful religion...but dey not real Muslims.  Cuz see, citizen...they don't really know what the fuck they are!  The only guy who does know what they are is the emperor!


Now, if you wanna see a war-lovin' "religion," why that would be...Christianism.  At least according to the emperor.

Now, you prolly don't think that's true, but that cause you white!  So you can't see how nasty Christians are!  See, just a few years ago Christians went down to where the peaceful Muslims were and started a big ol' war!  See?  

Okay, some history dude says that was maybe thousan years ago, but that doesn't change the point.  The emperor says Christianism is just as bad as Islamic State.  He even added that if you don't think so it's because you're "up on your high horse" about it.

Seriously, that's what he said--at the national prayer breakfast:  We shouldn't get upset about ISIS burning people alive and stoning women to death because a thousand years ago Europeans mounted the crusades.  Frankly that strikes me as way over the top.

Of course I'm kind of touchy that way.