How today's press would have reported WW2

Berlin, May 1945 (Associated Press)-- Hours ago Nazi HQ broadcast the following:  "We now control all of Germany.  The invaders have ten days to withdraw all troops, and to agree to pay $300 billion in reparations, or we will utterly destroy the U.S. with our super-weapons!" 

-->U.S. Democrat leaders respond: "We believe you, and will try to force our aging, ill, warmongering president to obey!  Cuz you've nevah lied to us before!  Plus our voters are sick of this endless war, and rationing!  We got sucked into this endless war because some tiny nation wailed that it was about to be invaded.  So ouah warmongering president got us into this ENDLESS war!  Americans have had enough!" 

Berlin, May 1945 (Associated Press)-- In response to Nazi demands, the Nazi high command says all Allied forces are retreating.  Our reporters haven't been able to confirm this but we believe it's true because the Nazi high command has never lied to us before.

Berlin, January 1945 (Associated Press)-- A pro-war political party in the U.S. claims the Nazis have been operating a "death camp" called "Auschwitz."  Nazi sources say Auschwitz is a peaceful farming community.  But being experienced reporters we asked the Nazi government to let us see for ourselves.  Our editors in New York asked us to investigate this outlandish claim that the town is a "death camp."  So our Nazi colleagues took our reporters to Auschwitz, and sure enough, it was a peaceful farming community with no sign of barbed wire or smoking chimneys.

    U.S. skeptics claim the town we saw wasn't the real Auschwitz, but a sign at the edge of the town said "Auschwitz," and the dozen residents we spoke with said they were all farmers, and had been so forever.  We conclude the claim of "death camps" is false."

Tehran, June 2026 (Associated Press)-- Iran has re-asserted control over the Strait of Hormuz and has declared that waterway closed, unless vessels pay a toll to Iran for safe passage.  The Iranians also claim the U.S. Navy has been defeated and forced to withdraw from the region, in a huge defeat for the Trump regime.

   U.S. Democrats were jubilant.  Chuck Schumer said "Iran was never working on an atom bomb, so there was no reason for Orange Hitler to attack them.  We've finally defeated Orange Hitler and the totally incompetent U.S. military.  In fact ouah partei has introduced a bill to make June 20th a national holiday called "No Kings Day."