How the Democrat party wins votes

How many of the things below ring bells?

1. "Trump 'colluded with Putin' to steal the 2016 election from Hilliary!"

2. "If you don't vote for more welfare--including giving big 'tax credits' (cash) to low-income pipo and illegal aliens to cover dere Obamacare premiums--you're a raaaacist!"

3. "Anyone who supports Orange Hitler or any of his raaacist policies is a NAZI!!!  And a fascist."

4. "Trump and Epstein were friends!  Dat means Trump is a pedo!  Of course some Dems were frens wif' Jeffy too--but none of the Democrats who were friends with Epstein were pedos!  See, dat's called 'logic!'"

5. "If you claim Islam wants to take over the world, you're obviously Islamophobic!"

6. "If you claim men shouldn't be allowed to compete against women in sports, you're obviously transphobic."

7. "If you complain about congressional staffers having 'homosexual sex' in a capitol briefing room, you're obviously homophobic."

8. "Obamacare was a fabulous, well-planned, near-perfect law!  Now we jus' need a few more tax dollars frum yew taxpaying sheep to make it work.  (Okay, 'a few more' is akshully a trillion dolla' over ten years, but c'mon man, dat jus' a number!  You can't put a price on free healthcare, deplorable!)"

9. "Hamas iz innocent victims of Israeli aggression!  Hamas dindoo nuffin' wrong, yet doze mean ol' Israelis started bombin' 'em fo' no reason!  Whut?  October 7th?  Did somethin' happen?  Nah, we din' hear nuffin'."

10. "On Jan 6, 2021 a mob of 'armed insurrectionists' stormed the Capitol to try to overturn the results of duh mos' fairest election EVAH!  Dey wuz armed wif' lotsa gunz--cuz it wuz a 'insurrection,' right?  I mean, how kin yew haz an insurrection wif'out gunz, eh?  Okay, we din' akshully find any gunz, but we know dey had to be dere!  Cuz it wuz a 'insurrection,' right?
    So we Dems held a big hearing about it.  Lasted three months, called hundreds of witnesses!  An' dey all tol' exackly duh same story!  Duh evidence proving a insurreckshun wuz SO clear dat right after we announced our findings we destroyed all the evidence an' videos of all those hundreds of witnesses who testified!  See, dat called 'transparency,' deplorable!  Dat how democracy work."

11. "By ordering his Gestapo thugs (ICE) to deport innocent Americans, an' kill po' innocent fishermen who were definitely NOT tryin' t'smuggle drugs to...somewhere..., Orange Hitler is acting like a king!  Americans hate kings!  So don't worry about whether Orange Hitler's orders are making life bettah in his fascist dictatorship!  Just keep repeating 'We HATE kings!'"

12. "Gavin Newsom is reeeally smaht and dreamy!  He gon' be duh best president EVAH!  And anyone who disagrees is a Nazi!"

13. "Jasmine Crockett is reeeally smaht, and pretty!  She don' take no shit from Orange Dragon Hitler!  She gon' be duh bestest senator EVAH!

14. "Dere is no significant vote fraud.  So if some random county--say, Fulton County, Georgia--heavily Democrat and Dem-controlled--refuses to produce 80,000 ballots needed to support the "official" reported vote total, it does NOT mean those ballots never existed, deplorable!  Perish the thought!  Instead it means the totally honest, non-partisan officials who run elections in dat county iz merely "protecting the sanctity of ouah secret ballot!"  Cuz if we wuz to produce duh missing ballots, doze cunning Rethuglicans would know who voted fo' who!  We not sure how dey'd know, since mail-in ballots removed frum envelope don' haz no way of tyin' 'em to a voter, but if we sez we iz protektin duh secret ballot, pipo believe it--so we win!  Dey ain't no vote fraud.  Dat jus' crazy-talk! 

Any of those things sound familiar?  They should, cuz the Mainstream Media have been bleating all those things for years!  But most people--and most Americans--have a memory span of about two weeks, tops.  So as far as most people know, almost none of the things noted above evah happened.

See, dis beez how democracy works, deplorable.  Whatevah duh Mainstream Media say, yew iz eager to believe.  Cuz dey nevah lied to ya befo,' right?