Democrats' strategy for the midterms: "We were right, voters were stupid"

If you were to summarize the platform of the Democrat party in the 2024 elections it would look very much like this:

 1. We've always supported open borders, but some of our squishy consultants are telling us most voters don't like that.  Solution: we'll tell people the border is totally secure.  That's the solution, because the Media won't contradict us, so voters will believe it."

 2. A few people claim there's a "drug problem" in the U.S., specifically fentanyl.  And while we've gotten our supporters in the FBI to lowball the numbers of drug deaths by simply omitting the deaths in a dozen major cities, the numbers are way over 80,000 per year.
   Solution: We tell voters our brilliant Secretary of State (Tony Blinken) has gotten the Chinese to agree to stop selling to Mexico tons of "precursor chemicals" used to make fentanyl.  Since no one outside of government knows the actual numbers, we won't get fact-checked, so problem solved.

 3. We've been telling voters for 16 years that "climate change" (formerly Globull Worming) is the biggest threat to the Erf's climate, and that the only way to save duh Erf is to stop using carbon fuels--like oil, coal, natural gas and gasoline.  To help consumers make the "right" choice, we passed a law giving people $7,500 if they buy an EV.  Of course "giving" masks the fact that we're actually making taxpayers pay it, so to disguise this we'll call it a "rebate," because rebates are paid by companies, not taxpayers.  And of course the Media will never fact-check us on this.
  And yes, burning jet fuel produces just as much CO2 per pound as gasoline, but we don't wanna lose wealthy donors or Hollywood stars who have private jets, or corporate CEOs who have company jets, so...we won't mention the effects of flying.  We'll say private jets don't contribute enough CO2 to matter.  Lawn mowers, on the other hand, can be outlawed.

4. In the same vein, we demand that U.S. utilities stop using natural gas and coal to make electricity.  Ouah Great Leader, the sainted Barack, did the right thing by forcing utilities to close 180 coal-fired plants.  And since we hate nuclear and building new dams, that leaves just one way to make electricity: "green energy."     So we'll block any changes to the law that forces utilities to pay companies that sell electricity made from wind and solar the "highest avoided cost"--the cost of electricity produced by the utility's *least-efficient plant.*  Yes, of course that increases the cost of electricity to consumers, but the dumb deplorables aren't smart enough to realize that without help from the Mainstream Media, so we're good!

 5. Candidate Trump said he'd deport aliens who committed crimes in the U.S. after entering the U.S. illegally.  Obviously we oppose that, so we've devised a great 3-prong strategy to neutralize this issue: First we'll instruct ouah Media allies to always refer to non-citizens as "a Maryland man" or "an Arizona man" instead of tipping their actual citizenship.  So in the highly unlikely case Trump wins, that will make voters believe Trump is deporting American citizens.
   Second, we'll get our Media allies to always refer to aliens as "undocumented Americans."  This gets voters to unconsciously believe those being deported are actually citizens but have simply lost their papers.  Since we've all been caught in that trap with the IRS, everyone will believe us.
  Third, we'll claim that "Undocumented Americans admitted into the U.S. by the compassionate Biden administration commit fewer crimes than Americans born in the U.S."  Of course no one has any idea if this is true because no one has the faintest idea how many crimes are committed by illegals--pardon, "undocumented Americans!"
  The beauty of the Media being on ouah side is that they always support anything we claim.  And even though surveys show Americans *say* they don't trust the Media, the truth is that most Americans nevertheless believe whatever the Media says--because it's their only source of information!  It's schizophrenic but we love it.

6. Trump claims China is America's biggest threat.  We have to keep voters from believing this because ouah policies are obviously pro-China.  We thought this would be difficult, but ouah leaders showed it was much easier than we feared: The solution was to simply get ouah Media allies to claim--over and over--that "China is ouah friend."
  Some of ouah consultants didn't believe it could be that simple, but it was.  See, only a tiny fraction of Americans born after 1995 believe communism is bad in any way, or that the leaders of communist regimes ever wanted to destroy capitalism.
  Killing Hungarian students in 1956?  Soviets cracking down on Poland?  U.S. college students nevah heard of it."
  Like taking candy from a baby.  Surveys  even show "a majority of college students surveyed" say they prefer communism to capitalism.  (Don't ask which colleges we surveyed.)
  Like taking candy from a baby.

7. Some anal-retentive sticklers for "rules" say they're upset that ouah party's faaabulous prezzy, who won the Democrat partei's nomination outright, was forced to renounce the nomination.  No vote.  No open convention to elect a new nominee.      What's the big deal, citizen?  Dis iz how democracy works, right?  See, The Partei picks the nominee, and who knows better than partei insiders who the best candidate is, right?  So chill, citizen!

8. Schools continuing to push 14-year-old kids to change genders, and passing laws to take kids away if a parent calls their kid by his/her given name, or uses a pronoun the kid doesn't like.  We iz entirely for dis, cuz "love is love," eh?  And we insist that "trans women ARE women," so they must be allowed to play on girls' teams and should be allowed in girls' locker rooms.  

SOoo...how many of those policies do ya think the Democrat party has changed after last November, eh?

Zero.
 
Today’s Democratic Party has a new slogan: "We’re not going back!"

Instead of reevaluating their policies, the party continues to push the policies listed above that alienated voters in 2024--and they're getting even more radical.

To take just one example, the Democratic Party is supporting lawsuits to block deportation illegal aliens convicted of crimes other than illegally entering the U.S.  Today a Dem senator from Maryland said he'll travel to El Salvador tomorrow (4/16) to try to bring alleged MS-13 gangster Kilmar Abrego Garcia back to the U.S.

In January, 158 House Democrats voted against a bill that would have ordered the deportation of foreign-born criminals.

Democrats came away with a lesson from last November:  Their policies weren’t wrong.  

You were.