From: Speaker Pelosi; To: members of our Party

From: Speaker Pelosi

To: Party members--DELETE AFTER READING!

Our plan to retain control of congress by leaking the draft decision on Roe v. Wade is working exactly as planned.  Members of our party in both the House and Senate have been flooding the media with statements warning voters that a) overturning Roe will ban abortion;  b) that there is no legal argument to support overturning Roe;  c) that it is illegal or unconstitutional for the court to overturn an earlier decision;  and d) that abortion is a constitutional right.

Of course we could never have gotten away with these claims without the crucial help from our friends in the media, who ensured that all such claims were broadcast on all networks without any critical comment.  So when we introduce our bill to give networks and newspapers $12 billion to "support the crucial Free Press" be sure to tell your constituents how great that is.

The really clever part of our plan is that we're blaming the threat to overturn Roe on Republicans, and using that to urge voters to elect Democrats in November.  By claiming overturning Roe will outlaw abortion we'll get millions of votes from people who have no idea that that's not true.  Our focus groups show this will enable us to retain control of the Senate and only lose five seats in the House.

Once again we've outsmarted the Republicans.