The newest target of the control freaks: fertilizer and feces. Seriously

Politicians are among the dumbest sons of bitches on the planet--and VERY dangerous.  Here's example #5,408,485:

In the Netherlands last week, pols in the province of North Brabant ORDERED that residents would no longer be allowed to walk with their dogs in the local forest.  

And why?  You'll never believe the stated reason given by the moronic pols:  They claim "dogs increase Global Warming."  Wait, do they drive cars?  Heat their doghouses?  Fly across the ocean to attend award ceremonies for themselves?

Nope, the pols claim the ban is due to "nitrogen emissions" from dogs.

And at this point rational people who paid at least a bit of attention in highschool recall that 80% of the atmosphere is relatively inert nitrogen, so how can nitrogen be a problem--let alone what makes the pols think dogs can have any effect on nitrogen in any case, eh?

Turns out the problem isn't nitrogen per se, but rather a molecule of nitrogen and that deadly poison oxygen, called nitrous oxide (N2O).  The Warmies are now screaming that N2O is an even worse greenhouse gas than the dread poison CO2.

Dog owners: "So how are dogs emitting N2O?"

Greenie/wokie politician: "All animal waste contains nitrogen compounds, and those decompose into N2O.  So dogs are making Global Warming worse by their feces."

Dog owner thinks a minute: "Don't all animals produce the same type of waste, including cows and humans?  If so, why are you blaming just dogs?"

Politician: "Uh...well...uh...we're not just blaming dogs.  We've now passed a law ordering all dairy farmers to cull half their milk cows to reduce nitrous oxide emissions.  So SEE, deplorables, we're being equally dictatorial to everyone!"

Farmer: "Wait...by 'cull' you mean 'kill,' right?  So you're gonna force dairy farms to kill half their cows?  Are you stupid?  You know that's gonna make the price of milk and cheese explode, which is gonna piss off a LOT of voters. 
    Fortunately we wheat farmers don't raise cows, just nutritious, non-polluting food crops.  So it's good that your new LAW isn't gonna put US out of business!
    See, we're guuuud pipo, so we only use --NO3, not that climate-destroying N2O.  We've used nitrates for decades as fertilizer, to increase crop yields, so everyone knows it's safe.  So it's a relief to know you smaht politicians aren't blaming US for the dread N2O, right?  Are you?"

Pol: "Uh...well...uh...actually nitrates ALSO decompose into N2O, so our new law will require farmers to cut their use of nitrate fertilizer in half too."

Farmer: "Wait...do you morons realize that will cut crop yields about 40%?"

Pol: "We don't believe that'll happen, and we've hired a VERY smaaht PhD professor as a consultant, and he's assured us that crop yields will only drop 30% at most."

Farmer: "Ahh.  And how long did this professor farm for a living before getting a PhD?"

Pol: "Oh he's never actually been a farmer.  He just knows all about farming because he's got a PhD in Agricultural Management--from one of Europe's TOP universities!  You wouldn't try to argue with someone who has a PhD, would ya?"

Dog owner: "So you've ORDERED that dogs can't go into the forest.  But how does that stop their waste from turning into this gas you claim is gonna fatally warm the planet?"

Pol: "Uh...well...uhh...it doesn't.  So we're working on a law that will make people who own dogs pay the government for the damage their dogs do to Erf's climate.  We've studied how to do this, and the consensus is something along the lines of the U.K's TV license, $250 a year or so."

Farmer: "But if you tax dog owners for their dog's waste, why wouldn't you tax humans for their waste?  Will you tax people an extra $250 per person per year for their feces?"

Pol: "Actually since people make far more waste than small dogs, the tax we're discussing will be closer to $2,000 per year.  So we expect most couples will have fewer children--which all guuud pipo know is a Good Thing."

Farmer: "What about 'immigrants' who are already living on welfare paid by taxpayers?  If they're already on welfare where would they get the money to pay your new waste tax?"

Pol: "That's a dumb question:  Of course immigrants won't have to pay the new tax.  That's just silly.  Or I suppose we could give 'em another $2,000 a year per family member that they could use to pay the tax.  Of course we'd have to hire another 5,000 government employees to administer that, so that's a really good idea.
   "Also, our scientists are working on a chemical toilet that will turn N2O into harmless nitrogen gas.  It looks like in mass production it could cost as little as $23,000.  But we'd give people three years to replace all their existing toilets with the new type." 

Farmer: "Are ALL you politicians this crazy?"

Pol: "That's HATE SPEECH, deplorable!  You are hereby sentenced to three years in prison!"

[Sound of gunshot.  Large hole appears in Politician's head.  Everyone in the hearing room looks at each other in astonishment.]

Dog owner: "I saw nothing."

Farmer: "Same here."

Other audience members: "Absolutely."
===

SOooo...I gather most of you think this is fantasy.  Horseshit.  Impossible.  I get it.  It's just TOO far-fetched, eh?  Well you hapless morons need to get your heads out of your video games or your TVs or your phones and open your damn eyes, cuz the new boogeyman by duh exspurts at dat faaabulous U.N. an' duh equally fabulous EU iz now "nitrogen pollution."  

Here are the communist pencil-dick tyrants at the U.N. on the threat to damn near everything posed by "nitrogen pollution:"

We must take action NOW to #BeatNitrogenPollution, to mitigate climate change! It's an issue we can't afford to ignore a moment longer!  If we don't limit nitrogen pollution right away, we'll face a cascade of negative impacts that will threaten the environment, the economy, our well-being and livelihoods--from degraded ecosystems to polluted soil, water and air, and species loss."

Any of those screaming, wailing bleats sound familiar?  Sure, that's the same horseshit they were spouting about Global Warming--which, as you may have noticed, has now been replaced by "climate change," since it has slowly become apparent that the planet is NOT overheating the way the control freaks screamed it would.  But their grift has become SO profitable that instead of saying "Ah, guess we were wrong on that one!" they just changed the name but kept the same controls in place.
   So now regardless of what the weather does (yeah, I know: weather isn't climate), the control freaks can claim "SEE? We WARNED YA!"

More UN crap:

Nitrogen pollution contributes to the triple planetary crisis of climate change, nature and biodiversity loss, pollution and waste.

EVERY time "nitrogen" is mentioned in that UN propaganda piece, the next word is "pollution."  Sorry, your fearmongering long ago lost its power over rational adults, assholes.
  
Here's what the U.N. screams under the heading "Biodiversity and ecosystems:"

Together with habitat destruction and climate change, nitrogen pollution is one of the biggest drivers of biodiversity loss on the planet today.

Ahhh, "biodiversity loss," y'say?  Oh, I see in this faaaabulous U.N. report there's a button you can click if ya wanna "read more," eh?  So let's see the explanation, eh?  And here's the "read more" explanation in its entirety:

According to a recent study, ecosystems such forests, heaths and surface waters are more sensitive to atmospheric nitrogen pollution than previously thought.

Wait...that's not even remotely an explanation.  It's an assertion.  Big damn difference.  But to totalitarians masking as saviors, the two are identical.  So they go on:

"Earth system scientists say that the world’s planetary boundaries for interference with the nitrogen cycle have already been surpassed, meaning that there is a high risk of irreversible changes to ecosystems and biodiversity."

"Interference with the nitrogen cycle," y'say?  Wow!  One could as easily say humans are "interfering with the energy cycle" by generating electricity, or heating dwellings in winter, eh?  

There's only a small step from here to ordering humans to live in caves and eat grubs, because anything else is "interfering" with some natural cycle, eh?  It's brazen fear-mongering.

So, experts, do tell us:  What fraction of global warming do you declare is caused by nitrous oxide, compared to, say, water vapor, eh?

And if we use your model, how much do you claim the average temp will rise by 2050 at current concentrations of nitrous oxide, eh?  Now how much temperature rise if we assume that concentration were to double?  Publish the computer program of your model so people who know how to analyze what programs are actually doing can see where you're making assumptions to support your conclusions (a.k.a. bullshitting).

Source for dogs banned from forest  

https://brusselssignal.eu/2026/01/dutch-dog-owners-shock-at-forest-ban-while-wolves-roam-free/

Source for astonishing U.N. bullshit about "nitrogen pollution"

https://unece.org/media/environment/Air-Pollution-Convention/press/372350